


Of monsters and socks

by ESpaghedward



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bullying, Cute, Fluff, Georgie Denbrough Lives, Jealousy, M/M, Maggie Tozier Loves Her Son, New Kid Eddie Kaspbrak, POV Eddie Kaspbrak, Period-Typical Homophobia, Richie is a monster under Eddie's bed, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:08:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23665156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ESpaghedward/pseuds/ESpaghedward
Summary: In the end, clearly not a good day -And it isn’t over yet!It’s right. Because no matter how bad things are at school, no matter how much his mother stresses him out, his nights always manage to be worse. Cause a fucking monster lives under his bed. [...] He barely let out a whisper, completely paralyzed by the thing that was forcefully grabbing him from his ankle. Cause it wasn’t someone. It wassomething.From a prompt: Richie is a monster under Eddie's bed and he scares him every night, but one day Eddie strikes up a conversation and they actually get along really well. They start getting closer and become friends.[I feel like adding that Eddie develops more deeper feelings for his monster friend]
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 27
Kudos: 77





	1. Of monsters and socks

**Author's Note:**

> so I thought the prompt was super cute and wrote this thing trying to make it very _cute_. dunno if i managed to. warning: overuse of the word cute :)

_I’ve had enough of all this bullshit!_

Eddie is looking at himself in the mirror of the bathroom, swollen eyes and red cheeks. The scared kid in front of him is actually annoying, so much that he would like to throw a punch right at his dumb face. Too bad the only thing Eddie would obtain is to hurt himself. He knows that he hasn’t enough strength to break the mirror, but the mere imagine of his hand, covered in both cuts and blood, makes him cringe and he changes his mind instantly. Eddie washes his face with great and unnecessarily effort, trying to remove the evidences of his last crying session. To tell the truth, his day hasn’t been one of the best. Bowers and his stupid friends bothered him at lunchtime - making fun of his light yellow polo that matched his new fanny pack - and waited for him when school ended, calling him lots of not-so-sweet names and completing their work with a nice kick in his ass. On his way home Eddie bough an ice cream to cheer himself up, a cone with two strawberry flavored scoops, but one of them decided to commit suicide dripping on the ground, making a mockery out of Eddie’s already bad mood. In the end, clearly not a good day - _And it isn’t over yet!_

It’s right. Because no matter how bad things are at school, no matter how much his mother stresses him out, his nights _always_ manage to be worse. Cause a fucking monster lives under his bed.

It all started the previous month. Eddie and his mother moved from Bangor to Derry, cause Sonia though that a smaller city would be safer for his fragile and sensible Eddie-bear. Eddie was both anxious and excited: he was going to attend school for the first time in his life, and for the first time he would have the chance to make some friends. He was home-schooled in Bangor - _Eddie-bear you know that overcrowded places are bad for your asthma!_ \- and his mother never let him go to play outside. So, inferences made, zero occasions to meet other kids. He quite liked the new city at first, and during the drive towards his new house he happened to see a boy or two around his age, chatting and laughing together. Their new house was cool, a family had just moved out, but they left there their "old" furniture - apparently rich people could afford to do it. Eddie’s room was nice and he had plenty of space to place his countless comics. That night he fell asleep the moment his head touched the pillow: he was _exhausted_ , an afternoon spent having daydreams about the next day, the first day of school, torturing himself with every possible scenario. Mix it with two bad asthma attacks, add a cup of Sonia’s paranoid warnings, and your Eddie-tired-as-fuck is ready to be put under the blanket - let it rest till morning. The last thing he saw before falling asleep was a shadow moving over the ground, near his bed. The following morning Eddie had already forgotten it.

"Look at the new kid! Another fucking fairy has come to town!"

Honestly, his first day of school had been nothing less than horrible. This Henry Bowers and his friends apparently found the way Eddie dresses funny - or disgusting - enough to made him their new target - _Dunno what’s the fucking problem with my light blue polo! It’s so comfy! This is absurd!_ From that day on he became one of Bowers’ gang favorite pastime, and when you are harassed at least twice a day, the other kids aren’t so excited to spend time with you. Revised-plan-to-make-new-friends scribbled on Eddie’s secret notebook - diary -, you can go fuck yourself, thank you very much. Eddie never told anything about that at his mother, afraid that she would have locked him in the house for the rest of his days - _I’m doing it for you Eddie-bear!_ He returned from that first day destroyed and discouraged, spent his evening reading the same two pages of a Batman comic over and over, and barely ate his dinner. He wished he could just disappear in his room and hide himself under the blanket for the rest of the school year. He went to bed with teary eyes and the knowledge that many _good_ days as that one were waiting for him in the near future. He was half asleep when he heard a strange noise, like someone - or something - was trying to move on the floor in complete silence, clearly failing. Eddie had just the time to register this information before his left foot, that was hanging from the bottom of the bed, got suddenly grabbed. Eddie let out a high pitched scream, his windows glass actually threatened to break, Sonia coming running towards his room. Well, at least that’s what would have happened if Eddie’s voice hadn’t decided to pack its things and just fuck off. He barely let out a whisper, completely paralyzed by the thing that was forcefully grabbing him from his ankle. Cause it wasn’t someone. It was _something_. The hand in question - or whatever it was - was way to hairy and had too much claws to belong to a person. Sure, the claws were short, but people doesn’t have claws _at all_ , so.

_There’s a monster under my bed oh my god there’s a fucking monster under my stupid bed!_

Eddie didn’t dare to move a single muscle, and the thing probably decided that it would be a great idea to whisper him _sweet sweet_ words from under the bed.

"Eddie!"

_He fucking knows my name!_

"Come down here, come with me, won’t you? We’re gonna have fun together! I’m sooo lonely! The last kid didn’t last much and now I’m all alone!"

The voice was pretty low, but Eddie found its roughness kinda creepy, and he actually got goosebumps from it. As he felt the grip on his ankle straightening his panic built up and finally erupted into a loud scream. Sonia furiously opened the door after a few seconds, turning up the light.

"Eddie-bear what happened? Why are you screaming? Are you hurt?"

"Mom there’s so-something under my bed! It... my-my foot!"

Eddie tried to explain his mother what was happening, but the moment he turned looking at the hand around his foot, for the first time, he saw that nothing was there. Nothings was trying to take him under his bed anymore - _But I wasn’t dreaming, I’m sure! It was there ten seconds ago!_

"Eddie, I can’t understand what you’re saying. Does your foot hurt? What have you done?"

"There-there’s something under my bed mom!"

Sonia gazed at him suspiciously, but after a few seconds she went on her knees and moved away the blanket to take a look under the bed.

"There’s nothing here Eddie-bear! It was just a nightmare. Do you want some sleep pills? They will help you for sure!"

She proposed it very casually, like she was talking about candies, but in the end Eddie refused them and agreed with his mother that it was just a dream, only for her own relief. And as soon as she turned off the light and closed the door, a creepy and amused laugh came for under his bed.

"Adults can’t see nor hear me, Eds! They can never tell who’s the one that takes their children away. It makes my work easier!"

Eddie covered his head with the pillow, but he didn't manage to fall asleep before sunrise, the monster’s words echoing through his mind.

For the last month, every night had been just like that one. The monster would harass him and whispers creepy things as soon as Eddie was ready to sleep: _Eds do you know that your medicine actually contains poison? You’re gonna die slowly, it’s gonna be terrible!_ \- _Eds, gonna tell you something... I'm rotting down here, my skin is coming off from my face and there’s puss everywhere! I’m gonna infect you the next time I touch you. You’ll be such a cute rotten boy! - Eds, one night I’ll just take you down here with me, and you’ll never be able to escape! We’re gonna have fun together Eds!_

Sometimes it would just touch him suddenly, laughing at Eddie’s reactions - usually he shots out of the bed and hides himself in the bathroom for a while. It never actually came out from under the bed, at least when Eddie was there, but food in the kitchen began to vanish mysteriously, and sometimes his socks went missing.

It has been an actual nightmare, and Eddie is really tired of the whole situation, he just needs a good night of sleep. After his terrible day, he just wants a little bit of peace. He storms out of the bathroom and goes straight to his bedroom, closes the door and stands angrily in front of the bed, hands on his thin hips and brows furrowed. He eyes the night stand and assures that his inhaler is over there. Eddie takes in a deep breath before beginning with his monster-scolding-speech.

"Ok this shit is gonna end, and it’s gonna end right _now_! I’m tired, ok? Everyday at school is just like hell and mum is unbearable all the time! At least at night I would like to sleep in peace! So you have to stop scaring me! I’m _done_! I’m really sick of it! I get it, you’re a monster, it’s your job, but you’re a giant asshole! You know that?!"

Eddie stops just to take a breath, then he goes on whisper-yelling at the creature under the bed, who’s actually being strangely quiet. This time he accompanies every word with the chopping movement he often does with his hand when he’s angry or trying to prove a point.

"You. Need. To. Stop! I’m serious! Fucking stop scaring me at night and stealing my socks! Why the fuck do you constantly steal them by the way? Stop it! If you won’t, I’m gonna jump on the bed till it crashes over you! And also _don’t_ call me Eds! It’s not my name, dick head!"

When he finishes, Eddie’s actually out of breath. He waits just a few seconds for the monster to argue, but he’s still silent - _don’t tell me he isn’t down there and I’ve been talking to the dust under the bed!_ \- and eventually he decides to go sleep. He’s been laying under the blanket for five minutes when suddenly the monster speaks.

"Fuck, you scared the hell outta me, man!"

"Jesus!"

Eddie’s heart skips a beat and he rapidly gets into a sitting position, his back at the headboard and hands clenching the sheets.

"It was awful and rude, you know?"

"What the fuck! I’ve just finished saying that you don’t have to scare me!"

"Right, I’m sorry! But you haven’t said anything in a month and then you come here and yell at me!"

"I wasn’t yelling! I was barely speaking at a normal volume, come on! Also it’s your fault, you harassed me for an entire month!"

"That’s fair, but I’m here for that! As you said, it _is_ my job"

As Eddie listens to the monster arguing back, he makes a few consideration: first, his voice isn’t creepy at all, actually it resemble a normal boy’s one, probably all this time he was just changing it on purpose; second, he’s actually talking casually, as if he isn’t there to scare him in the first place, like they’re having a normal conversation; third, it’s the first time in a month that he’s speaking with someone other than his mom or his teachers at school. And it’s clearly fucked up, but Eddie is quite enjoying it.

"Fine, it’s your job, but can’t we reach an agreement? Do you really need to scare me every night?"

"Dunno Eds! I’m not scaring you right now, and I’m not disappearing or exploding or other shit, so..."

"First, don’t call me that! Second, don’t you dare explode in my room! It will get very filthy!"

The monster makes some hurt-like noises.

"That’s the thing you'll care about? You wound me Eddie! Nobody cares about little ol’ me!"

Eddie can’t suppress a little laugh, and begins giggling after that - _oh god! I haven’t had a good laugh in ages!_

"Fuck! They’re gonna fire me! I’m suppose to make you tremble and cry out of fear and you’re _giggling_! Come on! Scream for me, just one time!"

Eddie manages to answer him between laughs.

"You're making it difficult for me to be still scared by you! I’m not gonna scream, this isn’t happening!"

"Oh Eds, I can make you scream in other ways, I knows a thing or two that will-"

"Uh, stop it! You’re gross!"

Eddie is actually blushing furiously, and the moment he notices it, he slaps his face hard - _Get a grip on yourself idiot! He’s a fucking monster!_

"Fine, I’m done! Also, as I’m still here, we can tell that I don’t need to scare you in order to exist. Maybe we can just talk from now on and see what happens, what do you think?"

Eddie thinks about it for a while. Actually he only pretends to be thinking about the monster’s idea, cause he really needs someone to talk with, to _laugh_ with. And if this someone happens to live under his bed and has claws, well... does it really matter in the end?

"Sure, I think that’s a good agreement!"

"Yowza! We’re gonna have fun Eds, and you certainly need a friend, you weirdo!"

"Excuse me?! Fuck you, I have plenty of friends! There’s Kevin and- and Steve and, Katy-"

Does he even _know_ someone called like that?

"Sure Eds, as if I can’t read your diary when you’re at school!"

Eddie blushes more furiously than the previous time.

"Asshole! Keep your hands off of my things! And it isn’t a diary, it’s just a simple notebook!"

"Again, sure! _Absolutely_ not a diary! But as I was saying, you can use a good friend, and I’m actually better at making people laugh than scaring them"

"I would like to argue on that! You were doing a pretty good job at scaring the shit out of me!"

They keep on bickering about it for the next ten minutes, but then Eddie yawns and rubs his eyes. They agree it’s time for him to sleep and wish each other goodnight – _why am I even saying him goodnight? Stupid!_

When Eddie’s ready to sleep, a sudden question crosses his mind and it escapes his mouth before he can even think to suppress it.

"What’s your name?"

"What?"

The monster sounds like he’s kinda disoriented by the question.

"I mean, you’ve got a name, right? How am I suppose to call you? Monster?"

"Hey! That’s rude!"

"Then just tell me your name!"

"It’s Bruce"

"You’re fucking with me! There’s _no way_ your name is Bruce!"

"Arturo"

"Try again"

"Jeremiah"

"Come on!"

"Banjo"

"That’s not even a fucking name! Can you just be serious for _two_ fucking seconds? I don’t think it’s this difficult!"

The monsters laughs for a while, probably enjoying the way Eddie’s getting annoyed with his bullshit. When he stops, he gives him one last name.

"Fine, fine! It’s Richie"

_Richie. This one’s cute. It doesn’t sounds like a monster name but-_

"It suits you, I think"

"Thanks Eddie Spaghetti"

"Not my name, _Banjo_!"

They wishes goodnight again, and this time Eddie is finally able to fall asleep, a light smile spreading over his lips as he savors his first night of actual peace in a month. And there’s this new and unknown feeling that’s inevitably climbing inside of him.

From that night on Eddie goes to his room right after he finishes his dinner, turns off the light, sits on his bed and chats with Richie till he falls asleep. They talk as naturally as they biker, always laughing or arguing about something. Each night Eddie learns something about him, from little things to some more deeper issues. On the first week he finds out that Richie likes comics too, and that he’s been reading his ones while he’s at school. And comics obviously provide lots of topics to argue on.

"You gotta be kidding me Eds! Spider-Man can’t be your favorite!"

"Why not, dick head? He’s really cool and has real powers! It’s not like, I dunno, Iron Man or Batman who are just rich! I love ‘em too, I’m just saying! Also, don’t call me that!"

"Please spare me from this bullshit! How can you say shit about Iron Man, by the way? Tony Stark is a genius! Anyway, even you would be a better superhero than Spider-Man! Wait! I’ve got it!"

"I really don’t wanna hear it"

"Eddie Spaghetti, pasta superhero! Fighting against crime with the bare power of noodles!"

"God, you’re so dumb! Also I would like to know what’s _your_ favorite superhero!"

"Wolverine, obviously!"

"Please! I don’t even know where to start to comment on your hyper banal choice!"

They can discuss over superhero literally for hours, always finding something they disagree on, fighting hard to prove their point. The times they agree over something are more unique than rare, but Eddie finds it funnier that way.

Another night, Eddie decide to brings out the socks-issue, cause he’s actually running out of them, and - he has to admit it - he’s still a little bit afraid to take a look under the bed. Also, to be fair, Richie doesn’t want Eddie to see him, so he actually _can’t_ look under the bed. He introduces the matter with all the tact Sonia gifted him with.

"Are you still stealing my fucking socks, asshole?"

"Yo no hablo inglés, Eduardo"

Eddie has learned that Richie really likes doing voices - and sometimes he’s actually good at it. Probably that’s why he was able to make up one capable of scaring him, in the first place. But if not scary, those other voices are really annoying.

"Stop it! I know that you’re stealing them! My mom keeps asking me where I put them, and she said that I’m gonna buy new ones with my own money! I don’t wanna waste money on socks!"

Richie mumbles something for a while but Eddie can’t understand a single word. He lets out a noise of frustration and stands up on the bed, then begins jumping, up and down, threatening the one that’s staying under it.

"I’m gonna crash you! Gonna crash you! I’m gonna crash you for real!"

"Eddie-bear stop jumping and screaming! I can’t hear the tv!"

Sonia’s voice comes up the stairs and trough the closed door. Eddie stops yelling and sits down again, crossing tightly his arms and legs - like a big human knot. Usually he’s able to speak at a normal tone, cause his mother likes keeping the volume of the tv really high - _it seems like I’m at the cinema Eddie-bear!_

"What a sweet woman, Eds! I think I’m really in love with her. Sorry if this makes things awkward between us, but I’m not the master of my own heart!"

"Fuck you asshole! It’s your fault she heard me!"

"Spaghetti you’re such a cute ball of fury!"

Eddie blushes at the word - _why am I blushing like an idiot?!_

" _Cute_?!"

"Yup! Cute cute cute!"

"Stop it please! And don’t try to change the subject! I’m not as dumb as you wish I am! Are you stealing my socks?"

Richie mumbles again, drastically changing his attitude, every drop of stupidity gone for well.

"I can’t hear you Richie!"

"... got them"

Eddie changes position and lays on his belly, his head thrown over the edge of the bed, in order to hear him better.

"You said you got them?"

"Yes"

"Can I have them back? At least a pair, I really need them"

Richie lets out a long sight before giving him an answer.

"You can’t have them back Eddie. They’re all ruined! I fucking ruined them with my stupid claws when I tried to take ‘em off!"

Eddie is startled, he’s never seen - heard - Richie like this. He sounds really upset and kinda sad, and Eddie suddenly feels a wave of guilt drowning him.

"Hey Rich! It’s ok, all right? I’m not angry anymore! I know you didn't ruin them on purpose, so don’t be upset, please! I promise it’s ok!"

"You’re not joking right? You’re not angry with me?"

For the first time Richie actually sounds _fragile_ , and Eddie can’t help to feel a tight knot forms in his stomach - _I feel like I’m the monster right now!_

"I’m not angry! Also, jokes are totally your field, not mine!

"That’s true Eds, I could easily became a comedian if I wanted to!"

After that, Eddie makes a note to not mention the _socks-issue_ again. And it’s such an unusual thing for him and his bitchy attitude, to ponder his words cause he’s afraid of the other reaction, but he doesn’t analyze it any further.

A few days after, Eddie finds himself wondering what does Richie do during the day, when his mother is at work and he’s at school. Half-expecting a bunch of dirty jokes and bullshit, he eventually asks him. It turns out that Richie has made up a sort of routine during his lonesome daytime. He gets out from under the bed when they’re both gone - _maybe one day I can pretend to go to school and wait in the backyard till he gets out. I really wanna see what he looks like! Fuck, what am I even thinking?_ \- and goes in the kitchen in order to fetch something for breakfast, usually just three big gulps from the milk bottle-

"Richie you’re disgusting! Take a glass at least!"

-and some cookies. After that he returns to the bedroom and carefully opens the window; there’s a tree near the house, and it’s really close to Eddie’s room. Richie explains that there’s this stray cat who usually sleeps on a branch of the tree, and that he likes talking to him, making jokes and doings voices - _You know, I need someone to test my new material on!_ \- even if he doesn’t talk back. Eddie finds it cute and makes a note to harass Richie about it later. After that Richie usually spends time reading comics and taking a peek through the pages of Eddie’s it’s-just-a-simple-notebook, that he always manages to find even if Eddie hides it in a different place every time. He could just put it in his backpack, but what if Bowers decides to take a look inside and finds it? Thanks but _no_ thanks. Richie steals again something for lunch, take a nap, read other comics and just waits for Eddie to come home.

"I’m sorry I'm asking this only now, but don’t you need to eat something for dinner?"

"Nah! I really don’t need to eat that much, apparently. Also it’s very _crowded_ in the kitchen at dinner time, you know?"

"Well, you’re right. But you’re sure you aren’t hungry?"

"Eds, are you actually worried for me? How cute of you!"

They keep on bickering for a while, then Eddie promises Richie that he would never worry for him again, not that he was worried in the first place - _I was just asking out of curiosity, he could starve to death if he wants, not my problem at all!_

But suspiciously, after dinner on the next evening, Eddie steals the biggest apple from the fruit bowl, washes it properly and takes it back to his room. Sitting on the bed, he plays with it for a while, then announces that-

"I’ve taken this apple, but I really don’t wanna eat it. I’m so stuffed! But if I take it back down mom will probably be upset cause she always recommend me to not bring food in my room! What can I do know?"

Kindergarten’s plays have seen better actors than him.

"Oh my god Spaghetti! This is _terrible_! Maybe I can eat it for you and save you from your mother, most lovable woman in the city and scariest thing in this house! I’m gonna save your ass cause I’m a real gentleman! Come on, put the apple on the ground! Give it to me! Give it to me!"

Eddie’s totally embarrassed, cause clearly Richie knows what he’s doing, but he’s also being really nice for once, and isn’t mocking him for it. He gently puts the apple on the floor and straightens up, looking the other way while Richie takes out his hand - hand? - to grab it.

"You know that I _know_ what you’re doing Eds, right?"

"Shut up, asshole!"

It becomes a sort of routine; Eddie would steal fruits after dinner and pretend to be full just to make Richie eat them. Both of them knows that it’s stupid, but they never comment on it again.

At a certain point, during the following week, Richie asks Eddie about bullies at school. He doesn’t feel like answering at first, but something tells him that talking about it with someone could be relieving. Eddie tells Richie almost everything: what they usually do to him, the places where he usually hides from them, how the others just look at him without actually helping or calling a teacher, what they say to him, and also the _names_ they address him. This is probably the most difficult part, but in the end he’s just filling the holes of what Richie has already discovered reading his notebook.

"You know, they call me like that _all_ they time, just for the way I dress, and I really don’t get it, Rich!"

"It’s cause the way you dress makes you look way too cute Eds, and probably it’s too much for them and their only escape from screaming out how cute you are is to harass you and call you all those names"

"This doesn’t make sense, Rich. _At all_! What are you saying? First, a polo doesn’t make me cute. Second, I really doubt that _they_ will ever find it cute. Third, don’t call me that, asshole!"

"Bullshit! I find it cute! It’s absolutely not my style, but those light color polo of yours suits you so goddam well!"

"Shut up!"

Eddie moves from his sitting position and lays down on his belly, crashing his face over the pillow in attempt to cover the deep blush that’s painting his cheeks, even if Richie wouldn’t see it anyway - _I’m blushing so hard I’m afraid he could hear it!_

Anyway, that remains the only explanation Richie offers him. The next day at school, near his locket in the hallway, Eddie finds himself staring at Bowers - a clearly pissed Bowers - and wondering if he’s actually thinking that his polo is way too cute to be bared. He laughs hard at that, cause it’s fucking _absurd_ and hilarious at the same time. Probably Bowers isn’t able to catch the humor behind it, cause as he sees the _little fag_ having a god laugh - apparently at his own expense - he shots foreword and pushes him hard against the locker. It was fun till it lasted.

It’s on the first night of November that Eddie introduces his father to Richie. It’s his birthday, or at least it would have been if he was still alive. This particular day is kinda hard for Eddie, cause his mother basically ignores it every year and he’s left alone whit his feelings, to deal with the absence of a parent. Fortunately, this time, he has someone to share them with. He’s laying on his bed, totally surrounded by the warm of his blanket, like a little caterpillar who’s resting in his cocoon waiting to become a beautiful - cute - butterfly - _I hate butterflies, they’re gross! Also, if they flap their wings really really close to your ear they could damage your hearing! I read it on a science book or something like that._

When he speaks his voice is actually muffled by the sheets, and what comes to Richie is barely audible.

"I miss him so much Rich. I think that if he was still here things would be different, maybe mom would be less unbearable. Maybe he would have taught me how to defend myself from bullies, or to play some kind of sport. I don’t know."

"I’m sorry Eds, I didn’t know it. When did it happen?"

"I was five years old. I don’t really remember a lot from that period"

Richie shifts awkwardly under the bed, as if he’s trying to get himself closer to Eddie despite the bed that divides them, in order to hear him better.

"But I’m sure that there’s at least a good memory, right? Something about him you like to remember"

Eddie’s head cautiously pokes out of the blanket, and as he turns his attention to the window a light sight escapes his lips.

"He really loved stars"

"Stars?"

"Yes. I remember that sometimes he would take me outside, on the balcony, when it was dark and tell me all kind of stories and myths about stars. About constellations"

"Wow! How cool! Tell me one of them!"

"I don’t remember any of them, dick head! I was barely five years old!"

"Don’t be rude! It’s not my fault your brain is damaged and you can’t remember shits!"

"It isn’t damaged, asshole! _Your_ is!"

"Sure Eds! Anyway, I’m pretty sure there’s a Spaghetti constellation up there. That’s probably why your parents named you like this"

"Excuse me? This isn’t my name in the first place, and that constellation obviously doesn’t exist!"

Richie fakes a shocked gasp at that, and Eddie can’t suppress a little smile to bloom over his lips.

"Spaghetti isn’t your real name?! You’ve been lying to me for all this time? How can I even trust you now? Are you a boy or I’ve been talking for weeks to a creep with mustaches and a monster kink?"

"God you’re so stupid, Rich!"

Half giggling, Eddie gets up from the bed as goes to the window, opening it and searching the sky. It’s really dark and cold outside, but he enjoys the light breeze that’s ruffling his hair. Plus, no clouds are there to cover the field of stars that now is lightening up Eddie’s eyes. Maybe it’s a gift from his dad, or maybe it’s just a coincidence, but he doesn’t really give a fuck, cause the bare sight of those stars is able to lighten the weight that’s been threatening to crash his heart from the moment he woke up that morning. Without turning around he addresses Richie with an excited voice.

"Rich come here! Look! The stars are beautiful tonight! Get your ass out of there!"

"Eddie... I can’t"

"I promise I won’t look Rich! But you need to see ‘em! I swear I won’t turn around till you get under the bed again!"

After a while Eddie actually hears him shifting and crawling out from his hideout. His heart beats at a furious pace and there’s a moment when he’s ready to break his promise and turn to look at him. He has to grip tightly at the wood of the window to restrain himself from doing it. Richie comes closer and stops just a few feet from him. The atmosphere is suddenly tense as fuck, and Eddie can’t stop himself to think that that’s the first time they’re this close – _fuck! He’s behind me! He’s so close! I dunno why but I’m feeling like I’m going to explode! -_ Clearing his throat, Eddie speaks hoping that his voice won’t betray his true emotions.

"Can you see them?"

"Yup!"

There’s a fraction of a second in witch Eddie feels this strange tingling over his bare neck, and wonders if Richie had been staring at him. But the sensation vanished as fast as it came.

"You like ‘em?"

"A lot"

For another half an hour, they stay just like that, Eddie trying to count the stars – cause Richie dared him to do it – and being interrupted every twenty seconds by the other one building up stories about constellations with improbable names.

Eddie’s taking notes during math when he realizes it. Actually he’s just scribbling a joke at the bottom of the page, something stupid that has just crossed his mind and that he _absolutely_ needs to tell Richie later - _this will surely make him laugh!_ \- when his hand stops abruptly, and his eyes widened like he’s just seen Bowers in a lace pink dress waltzing through the room with his teacher - another dumb thing he would probably like to tell Richie. The issue is that he’s actually behaving like Richie’s his _friend_. And probably they are friends, probably he’s been acting like that for weeks, but he’s realizing it _now_! And maybe someone else would be shocked or terrified by the prospective of having a monster as a friend, but Eddie’s delighted.

_I have a friend! Oh my god, I finally have a fucking friend!_

That afternoon he writes about his recent discovery on his _notebook_ , despite the fact that he knows that Richie’s gonna find it and read it the next day. Or maybe he does it _because_ he knows it.

This now-we’re-friends thing leads Eddie to bring back the socks-issue a few days after.

On a Sunday, Sonia takes Eddie with her to pay visit at her sister in Bangor despite his loud protests - on weekends he could spend lot of time with Richie while doing, or pretending to do, his homework. The two women spend the morning chatting about nothing interesting at all while Eddie plays with his aunt’s white cat, keeping himself at security distance, cause no matter if the little thing is quiet and clearly likes Eddie’s attention, if _he scratches me and I don’t clean the wound well it will get infected! You’re cute but I’m not gonna let you kill me!_

In the afternoon they go to the city mall, and his aunt tells him that he can choose something as a late birthday gift. Eddie hasn’t even the time to _think_ about something he would like to receive before his mother opens her mouth.

"Oh thank you so much, dear! Eddie was telling me just this morning that he would really like some new pair of socks, weren’t you _Eddie-bear_?"

He watches in disbelief at this huge thing that’s supposed to be his mother but that is clearly been created to make his life harder to enjoy, and with a certain amount of disgust he understands that she’s been waiting for that moment the minute she placed that huge ass of hers on the car seat. He doesn’t argue back, it’s not a battle he can win, so he fakes a smile and nods. His aunt opens her wallet and gives him the right amount of money - more or less - to buy four pair of socks - _oh my god best gift ever thank you aunt thank you mum I love you both I’m the happiest kid this town has ever seen what could a boy want more than socks?_

But when they’re back in the car two hours later, ready to drive home, Eddie’s quite excited and happy about his purchases. He’d bought three pair of socks for himself, white socks with red stripes at the top, but he’s not as satisfied with them as he is with the fourth pair he bought. He’d found an orange pair whit tiny green dinosaurs spread all over it. It’s the loudest pair of socks he’s ever seen, and it’s a perfect gift for the loudest and obnoxious _person_ he knows. Cause now they’re friends, and friends exchange gifts and other things, so there isn’t a deepest meaning behind it. At all.

They arrive at home just in time for dinner, and as they finish the leftovers from the lunch Sonia’s sister has given them, Eddie can’t think of anything but the stupid loud socks. Just the time to put the plates in the sink - grab a banana form the fruit bowl -, and he’s running toward his room. When he closes the door, a cheerful voice comes from under the bed to great him.

"Spaghetti! You’re finally back! I was bored as fuck! Nothing interesting even in your notebook! You’re keeping the best for yourself, aren’t you?"

"Don’t call me that! And I left you plenty of comics to read!"

"Still, I was bored as fuck!"

A wide grin spread all over Eddie’s face while he puts the banana and the new pair of socks on the ground near the bed. Then he basically jumps on it and sits cross legged, swinging on the spot waiting for Richie’s reaction.

"Too full for this, right Eds? Gonna eat it for you so my beloved Mrs K won’t- what are these?"

Eddie is gloating. He would literally _pay_ to be able to see Richie’s face - face? - right now.

"Socks"

"I can see it, fuck you very much Eds! I just want to know why you put your socks down here. Also, are them new?"

"They’re not mine Rich! They’re yours"

"Mine?!"

Half giggling, Eddie briefly resume the events of the day, paying attention to convey how much his mother has been particularly awful.

"So I was looking for some socks when I saw this pair and I thought ‘Oh my god these are perfect for Richie!’ and I just took ‘em! Now you have your own pair and you don’t have to steal nor worry to ruin mine anymore!"

Eddie ends with a little laugh, clearly satisfied by the whole thing. He _patiently_ waits for Richie to answer, to say something, but when - less then five seconds later - he’s still silent, he loses his shit and begins talking a mile a minute.

"Oh fuck! You don’t like ‘em! Fuck! I’m so stupid! I’m sorry Rich, they were funny and loud and I was just... dunno, I though you would like ‘em! I’m sorry, you don’t have to wear them, you can-"

"Eds calm down! God! Slow down please!"

"I’m sorry"

"Stop saying it! I was just... Eddie I was... surprised? Why would you give something as a gift to a monster that was put under your bed to scare you, in the first place? Why?"

That isn’t the reaction Eddie was aiming at. He’s taken back and doesn’t know what to say. Why do it? Why give a gift to a monster? - _He isn’t a monster! Well, maybe he is, but he isn’t just that! I bought them cause -_

"I bought them cause you’re my friend"

"Really? Do you actually think we’re friends?"

He says it like it’s absurd. And this isn’t _absolutely_ the answer Eddie wanted to hear. He’s on the verge of tears now, but he stubbornly wanna save what is left of his dignity, so he force himself to keep those fucking tears inside his eyes. He would have done quite a nice job if it weren’t for the pitying noises that left his mouth.

"Oh my god! Eddie! Eds? I didn’t mean it like that! I do think that we’re friends, I swear it! But I though that it wasn’t the same for you!"

And in barely two seconds Eddie’s mood changes like he’s fucking bipolar and over-accustomed with it. So goodbye self-pity! Welcome back bitchy attitude!

"I’ve written it in my notebook, asshole! And you read it every fucking day!"

"I thought that you were _joking_!"

"Nonsense! You’re a giant idiot!"

"And you’re very rude! Fuck you!"

"Fuck _you_!"

They’re both out of breath when they finish with their dumb quarrel. Eddie’s cheeks and neck are flushed and he’s gripping tightly the blanket. They’re so stupid, _he’s_ so stupid! It was supposed to be a nice moment, two good jokes, Richie mocking Eddie for worrying about him, Eddie supporting the exact opposite. Instead it became a cheap drama plot, tears and screams - whisper screams - included. Then, Eddie hears a sound that he can only assume comes from Richie finally taking the infamous pair of socks under the bed. After a while, when he thinks Richie has managed to put the damn socks on, Eddie dares to speak again.

"You like ‘em?"

"Are you kidding me? I love them, Eds! Best pair of socks evah!"

They laugh for a while, the tension from the previous moment finally melting.

"I think I’m never gonna take them off!"

"God Richie, you’re gross!"

"Fuck you! I’m gorgeous! Gonna seduce your Mrs K in a second with these on!"

"Have I ever said that you’re gross?"

After that night Richie tents to celebrate the glory of his new socks at least twice a day. And it’s funny that, without them, Eddie wouldn’t have discovered Richie’s greatest secret. Well, probably he would have done it soon or later, but once again, plain socks seem to have the ability to bring up issues way deeper than the ones you could actually relate at, precisely, just _socks_ . It’s the end of November and Eddie’s been through quite a bad day at school. To be honest, nothing different than the usual treatment he receives. Bowers harassed him for his winter jumper, actually just a normal green jumper, and Eddie doesn’t really get how that same jumper had induced that asshole to call him a _dirty little fag dressed like a fag_ , again. He’s been talking with Richie about it for ten minutes, at least, when he begins saying nonsense and being loud as fuck.

"I wish I could go to school with you Spaghetti! I would go right to Bowers and show him my fucking socks! He would be so amazed that he will forget to harass you!"

"I’m trying to imagine it, but it clearly wouldn’t end like that! Even if we forget the fact that you’re a monster, he would certainly mock you for the socks, dick head!"

"Bullshit! He would be _jealous_ of them!"

"Do you even listen to yourself when you talk?"

"Always! It’s a pleasure I never deprive myself from!"

"Shut up asshole! You can’t understand! It’s easy talk like that when you’re not harassed constantly for your polo or fanny pack or whatever!"

"Please, spear me from that, Eddie! I’ve been harassed by Bowers for _years_ just for my glasses and my fashionable button-ups and-"

Richie stops, abruptly, and his action is immediately copied by Eddie’s heart, who apparently finds it funny to stop beating inside Eddie’s chest. The boy’s mouth drops open and he tries to catch the breathe that somehow won’t get in his lungs - _fuck! I’m having an asthma attack!_ \- and in a frantic way he reaches the night stand and grabs his inhaler. One puff, two puffs. It gets no better. _What the fuck is he saying?!_ Three puffs? Try again. _Bowers used to harass him?!_ Four puffs. Not enough little boy. _Does he mean at school?_ Five puffs. You’re on the right way. _Monsters don’t attend school, right?_ Six puffs? It’s ok, buddy. Just another one! _Kids go to school! So if he really went to school it means that Richie-_ Seven puffs. Here we go! _-that Richie was a kid. Like me._

Eddie is finally able to breathe at a normal pace, but the shock of his realization is still there, and he’s afraid to ask Richie if he’s right about it. Cause if he’s right, if it’s _true_ , then that brings everything on a total different level. Neither of them has said anything yet, but the fatal question is crawling through Eddie’s throat and sliding over his tongue till it gets free from his mouth, almost by its own will.

"You were a kid, Rich? A boy?"

Eddie’s sure that hours passes before Richie’s answer finally escapes the darkness under the bed.

"Yes. I was a boy"

"And then what happened?"

"It’s a long story Eds, I- I don’t think you actually wanna hear it"

"It could be Bible-long for what I fucking care! I wanna hear it right now!"

It turns out that his story isn’t _that_ long, but surely it could be shorter if Richie doesn’t digress every two minutes and Eddie stops interrupting him and asking things. Richie was a boy just like him, actually they’re the same age, and he used to live with his parents in a house that’s ten minutes from Eddie’s one. He was basically blind, so he had this pair of coke bottle glasses, and he liked to wear loud patterned bottom-ups, and he was obviously mocked by Bowers’ gang for them. He was a loser, but a happy one, cause he had a group of friends who were losers just like him. They used to hang out together all the time, and Ben-

"I know him! He’s in my English class, and sometimes, when I hide myself in the school library, he’s there too. He sits at my table and even if we don’t talk I feel like he wants to keep me company"

"I know it Eds! I read you diary!"

"It’s just a _notebook_! And don’t call me that!"

-and Ben had even built a clubhouse for them at the Barrens. They were really happy. There’s Big Bill, they’re leader, actually a cool boy if you’re deaf and can’t hear him stuttering every time he opens his mouth. Stan the man, tidiest kid Derry has ever seen, who has this insane passion for birds and can’t stand Richie’s jokes. Micky, home-schooled, they saved him from Bowers and his friends, and after that they started hanging out together; he’s strong and kind. There’s Bev, she’s a badass and has fiery red hair; she's also funny and a really reliable friend; also, Bill has a crush for her, and maybe she feels the same way. Then there’s Ben, Haystack, he was the new kid at school and is harassed for his weight; he’s kind and a little architecture genius and he’s madly in love with Bev. So they were always together but-

"Sometimes I see them eating together at lunch, but they’re always quiet. They actually seem pretty sad all the time! I think that this makes sense now"

"Do you think they miss me?"

"Of course they do, dick head! They are _depressed_ all the time and I’ve never heard them laugh once!"

"That’s because I was the funniest of them!"

"Oh, of course you were! I can clearly see it!"

"If things were different we would have asked you to join us, Eds. I mean it!"

"Thanks Rich"

-but sometimes Richie needed to be alone, to ride his bike around Derry and do voices, and _think_. He had very good friends, but he never had a _best_ friend. The others were ok, more than ok actually. They were awesome, but their tolerance for Richie’s bullshit clearly had a limit, and it wasn’t that hard for him to surpass it. So sometimes he needed a moment for himself. And it was one of those moments that lead him, one tragic afternoon, to the house in Neibolt Street. Abandoned, rundown and creepy, it was basically inviting him to get inside and explore it. In hindsight, Richie can tell that there was a kind of _force_ drowning him inside. The moment he entered the house, the door slammed closed behind him and a fucking clown appeared from nowhere in the middle of the room. Orange hair, a ruined and dirty silver costume with orange buttons, a creepy smile and a pair of bright yellow eyes. He was the scariest thing Richie’s ever seen.

"So he just says that his name is Pennywise, not that I asked him. Anyway, he explains me with this creepy attitude and salivating all the time, that in order to survive he needs to feed himself with fear. And then I’ve been wondering if fear actually has taste. Cause if your diet is based only on fear, I mean, I hope it tastes good at least!"

"I don’t think it works like that Rich. It’s an abstract thing. I’m pretty sure it’s tasteless!"

"Dunno Eds, your not the expert here"

"Neither are you, dick head! Now keep on with the story, please!"

"Sure! So, after that, he says that he can’t go outside to gets his meals cause- I dunno, he yelled something about a fucking turtle and her powers, that he’s trapped in that house and other things I honestly didn’t get"

It turns out that what Pennywise needs is someone who _works_ for him. So that’s what he does, he turns you into something that can easily scare other kids and place you in their houses, in the basement, inside the closet, up in the attic, under the bed. The wide and scary grin of the clown was the last thing Richie saw before everything turned black.

"When I woke up I was under this same bed. I was terrified and I got out without actually think. There was a boy sleeping there, but the noises I made woke him up. The moment he saw me he fucking started to scream, Eddie! God! I must be horrible to look at! I threw myself under the bed while this kid keep on yelling. His parents were there in an instant, but, as your mom, they couldn’t see or hear me. The first night that damn clown talked into my head all the time! I don’t remember when, but one day I actually started to scare that kid. I can tell it was unbearable for him, and they eventually moved out, and I thought that _that_ was the end. But the clown didn’t talk to me and I was still a monster. Then you and your mother arrived here and it started all over again."

What Eddie’s felling is beyond words. He can’t imagine how hard it must be for Richie, he can try to do it, but he knows that it would be useless. What happened to Richie, is nothing he can relate to, and he hasn’t said anything about his _feelings_ concerning the whole matter. Eddie feels like crying, and as he rubs his eyes with the hand that isn’t still clenching his inhaler, he notices that he’s already doing it. Probably he’d opened the fucking taps near the end of Richie’s story, and now tears have drenched his pj’s shirt. He feels like he should be saying something, but nothing comes out if not a sobbing apology.

"I’m so-sorry Rich! I’m so sor-ry! I would like to do something to help you! Maybe if I talk about this with your friends, or maybe I can go to that Neibolt-"

"Eds promise me! Promise me right now that you won’t go to that house! _Never_! Swear it!"

"I sw-swear it"

"Ok, and I don’t want to draw the others into this shit. So please, don’t tell ‘em anything"

"I won’t"

After that, some sniffling noises come from under the bed, like Richie’s trying to force himself not to cry, or like he’s doing it, but in a really quiet way.

They don’t talk about it again, they don’t talk about Richie’s parents, about the losers, about Pennywise. Richie is clearly uncomfortable with the topic, and he’s still hurting from their last conversation about the matter. So they just keep on with their routine and Eddie finds another notebook to write the things he feels about it, and this time he takes it to school with him everyday. Bowers can go fuck himself.

One night, at the beginning of what is a very cold December, a storm invests Derry. It’s the first time it happened since Eddie moved there. The previous months had seen just a few rainy days, from time to time, but never an actual storm. Eddie is sleeping, wrapped tightly into his blanket and sheets, when a loud thunder wakes him up. His heart is beating furiously, but neither that nor the storm can actually cover some muffled sounds that come from under the bed. Eddie shifts and moves into a sitting position, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Rich, is that you?"

He listen carefully but nothing can be heard except for those noises.

"Rich is everything ok?"

Right then another thunder breaks through the silence of the night, and a loud gasps escapes Richie’s mouth. Eddies brain finally lights up and he lays on his belly, his head over the edge of the bed.

"Rich, are you afraid of thunders?"

"Nope"

But the trembling voice in witch that "nope" is said is clearly the voice of someone who’s fucking _terrified_ by them!

"Mmm... yes? You are, Rich! You’re afraid of thunders"

"Your mom is afraid of thunders!"

"Well, maybe she is, I don’t know. What I know is that she’s not the one who’s making those little frightened noises"

"Fuck you!"

_This is exasperating!_

"What the fuck is your problem, asshole? Just admit it! It’s not a big deal!"

Another thunder. Another gasp.

"Well, maybe I’m a little bit afraid of them"

_"Maybe"_

Suddenly a weird idea crosses Eddie’s mind, and he gets all flustered just from that alone - _I’m sure friends do this all the time! It’s normal, nothing strange with it! We’re friends._

"Do you wanna hold my hand?"

"What?"

"I-I mean, if you don’t wanna it’s totally fine! I just though that it could help you! Isn’t it something that friends do?"

"Sure! I mean, I think they do, I’ve never done it. But that’s not the problem right now"

"Then what’s the-"

"I don’t think you actually wanna hold my _hand"_

As if Eddie hasn’t thought about it before. How naive of you, Richie! He’s excited by the only _idea_ of holding Richie’s hand, or whatever is the thing that’s attached to his arm.

"It’s not a problem. I-I would like to do it"

"You’re sure Eds?"

"I am! And don’t call me that, asshole! Just let me settle down"

Eddie gets back under the blanket, and he lays again on his belly, closer to the edge of the bed as he can manage to without falling down. He lets his arm slide down, and his fingers tingling for the anticipation.

"I’m ready Rich"

"Eds, a-are you really sure of this? You know I’m-"

"For fuck’s sake Richie just _take_ my fucking hand!"

Very very slowly, something hairy lightly touches his hand. After a few seconds of awkward touching, Eddie is able to properly hold it. Richie’s fingers are definitely shorter than his ones, and there are claws, even if they’re really short. _Sure it’s kinda strange, but... oh my god! It’s so-_

"It’s so fluffy!"

As soon as these embarrassing words leaves Eddie’s mouth, he blushes furiously, and slams his face hard on the pillow - _oh my god what the fuck am I even saying?! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_

"Eds! You flatter me!"

But despite his manners, Eddie can hear a certain tension in his voice. His next words are half covered by another thunder.

"Thank you"

Eddie hums and holds Richie a little tighter. He falls asleep again just like that, hand in hand with Richie, lulled by the sound of his own loud beating heart.

After that night, Eddie becomes aware of every single reaction he has around Richie. He cracks a joke? Eddie giggles and blushes. He laughs at some not-so-funny thing Eddie says? His heart start beating faster and he blushes. Eddie’s laying on his bed thinking about the night they held hands? He become red as his red short shorts and probably starts fuming from his ears like a fucking train – _choo-choo!_ He has basically brought the whole blushing-thing on a higher level. And, well, those aren’t normal reactions between friends, right? Eddie’s actually clueless, cause he’s a beginner in the friendship field, but a voice in his head says that it isn’t something you should feel for a simple friend. The same voice suggest him that those are typical things that happens when you’re with something you lik- _would you just shut up? Nobody asked you anything! Fuck off! Get out of my head, asshole!_

It’s with this inner turmoil that Eddie faces the next few days of school, wondering all the morning about the meaning of those feelings, but vehemently denying that they’re related to the fact that he _probably_ likes Ric- _bullshit! He’s just my friend!_

He walks around in a kind of haze, and sometimes finds himself staring at the bare nothing for minutes. He’s also being way too reckless, and this last thing is proved, on a Thursday afternoon, when he bumps against someone in the hallway, completely lost in his thoughts. And since Eddie’s well known for his rotten luck, that someone happens to be the one and only Henry Bowers.

"Watch where you’re going, faggot!"

Eddie actually needs a second to regain himself and understand the situation. After a few seconds he raises his gaze on Bowers, who’s now busy mocking him with his friends, laughing hard.

"What? Too focus on thinking about your boyfriend, fag?"

"He isn’t my boyfriend!"

It shocks him, it shocks Bowers, it shocks his friends and even someone who’s passing near them. Everything freezes, and for a moment Eddie thinks that he can actually managed to get away with it if he takes advantage of Bowers’ shock and runs very fast. The funniest part of the whole thing is that he hasn’t even answered back cause he’s mad that Bowers called him fag again. He’s done it cause this big asshole basically said out loud the thing that Eddie’s trying hard to deny. A hand comes down and lands on his shoulder, gripping him forcefully and every trace of laughter is gone, Bowers eyes are dark and full of what can only be described as _rage._

"Have you just answered back, little fag? You afraid I’m gonna find your boyfriend and beat him as well?"

_Well, fuck it!_

"I’ve told you like _ten_ seconds ago that he’s not my boyfriend! Are you deaf or just dumb, dick head?"

As soon as he opens his mouth again, Eddie knows that he’s done. But things would have probably gone differently if someone hadn’t laugh in the background. A good beating can put at his place an insolent fag who has the _bravery_ to talk back, but it’s not enough to punish a disgusting faggot who dare to embarrass him in front of other people. Gnashing his teeth, mad eyes and a hand still on Eddie’s shoulder, Bowers push him hard towards the stairs. Cause he’s a _lucky_ boy, and they’re obviously been having that polite exchange near the stairs that lead to the first floor - _fuck! This is gonna hurt!_ Everything, after that, goes at a really quick pace. Eddie has just the time to hear his right arm making a _terrible_ crashing-like noise, when he lands over it, and in a blink of eye he’s at the hospital, crying hard surrounded by the voice of his mother bickering with an unfortunate doctor.

After Sonia failed in her plan to convince the doctors that her Eddie-bear needed to stay at the hospital for the night, they’re free to go, and eventually arrive at home late in the evening. Sonia has overwhelmed him with question through the entire drive, but Eddie has barely the force to keep on crying, let alone to answer her. She tries to make him eat something – _you need to eat Eddie-bear! You have to take your medicine! -_ but in the end, she agrees to let him go rest in his room - _Tomorrow you won’t go to school Eddie-bear, and we’re gonna have a nice mother-son talk!_ Without even turning on the light, he closes the door behind him, sniffling and hiccuping hard, and - carefully - throws himself face down over the bed. A worried voice greets him from under the bed.

"Eddie! What happened? Why were you at the hospital? I heard your mother screaming in the kitchen! Are you all right? Eds?!"

Eddie turns his head on the side and force himself to answer him between tears.

"It was Bo-Bowers. He pushed me from the stairs and I broke my arm"

"What the fuck! You broke your- does it hurt? Why has he done it?! I’m gonna punch him right in his face!"

Richie’s basically screaming at this point, but Eddie’s the only one who’s able to hear him. And if he wasn’t that exhausted, he probably would have noticed the pure anger that impregnate Richie’s words. Obviously he keeps for himself the real reason behind his actions.

"He called me a fag. A-and I answered back"

"You answered back? Really?!"

"I know, I’ve been a total idiot"

"You’re kidding me Eds? You’re a fucking badass! That’s so cool! I used to answer back too, but it was just cause I can’t keep my mouth shut for more than two seconds!"

Eddie lets out a little sad laugh, but it gets immediately interrupted by other tears and sobs. And then he’s crying again, louder, and ugly noises fill the room.

"Fuck! Eddie, Eds! Please don’t cry! Look, just- hold my hand Eds! Ok? Give me your hand!"

Eddie manages to get himself near the edge of the bed and leaves his good arm hanging down in the darkness. It’s a matter of seconds before Richie’s furry hands catches his, and Eddie holds onto it as if it’s the only thing that could keep him from shuttering into pieces. He falls asleep in that same position, Richie still whispering little nonsense just to comfort him, and the moment before his conscience finally drifts away, he thinks that _yes_. He really likes Richie. He only needed a broken arm to be able to admit it.

With this new knowledge, Eddie begins to think if there’s actually something he can do for Richie’s situation. It’s strange, cause he’s been living in Derry from September and he’s never heard anything about Richie’s disappearance. Sure, rumors about kids running away from their houses are frequent, but nothing specific about him. He won’t go talk to his friends, he’s promised that to Richie. But he hasn’t said anything about his parents. It’s Monday afternoon, and he’s still at home, cause his mother won’t let him return to school yet. She’s at work when Eddie builds up the courage to put on his coat, gloves, scarf and hat, and get out of the house - _Rich I’ll be back in less than twenty minutes!_ Randomly walking around and asking every person he meets if they know where Richie’s house is - W _ho’s Richie?, Why aren’t you at school boy?, Don’t go sticking your nose into other’s business!, Get out of my lawn!, Oh,_ _you mean the kid that run away this summer?_ \- he manages to finds it forty minutes later. But now that he’s here, he doesn’t know what to do. Maybe he only wanted to be sure that Richie’s parents hadn’t moved out of Derry, maybe he wanted to see the place where he used to live. He doesn’t know it for sure, but he carefully gets closer to a window on the side of the house and just take a quick look inside.

"I’m sorry, what are you doing?"

Eddie shoots back from the window, panic building inside him while this woman gets closer from the backyard. She seems quite nice and easygoing, but even Eddie can notice that a veil of sadness covers her features.

"I-I’m sorry! I was just- I..."

"I’m not mad, darling. I’m just wondering why a boy who’s supposed to be at school is taking a pick through my window"

"Are- are you Richie’s mother?"

The lady’s eyes widened at the sound of Richie’s name, and her half fake smile drops in a second. A tinge of hope in her voice.

"You remember my Richie?"

Eddie’s kinda confused by the question, and he just opens and closes his mouth a few times, not knowing exactly what to say.

"Nobody remembers him"

"What?"

"The more time passes from his disappearance the more people seems to forget. The police, the teachers, our neighbors, even his friends"

"No! I-I always see them at school and they seem so sad like _all_ the time!"

Richie’s mother sadly shakes her head.

"Sometimes I see them walking around the house, but I’m not sure they actually remember him well. It’s more like they’re aware they’ve lost a friend but they’re not sure about who this friend really is. Even I, sometimes, feel like I’m forgetting details. I don’t remember the color of his eyes if I don’t look at a photo. I’m afraid I’m gonna forget him like everyb-"

"No! You must remember him! He’s gonna come back! I’m sure! Please, don’t forget him! Don’t let it happen!"

Eddie isn’t even aware that he’s been yelling at her, but she doesn’t seem to mind either. She’s clearly more curious about this kid that has come from who knows where, and that is basically begging her to keep on remembering her lost son.

"Who are you?"

And suddenly Eddie thinks that, in the end, this whole thing wasn’t really a great idea. He mumbles something incomprehensible, waves his good hand at her in a polite way and just runs away.

When he arrives at home he’s a little bit shaken, and hasn’t the courage to tell Richie what he just did. Everyone is forgetting him, forgetting his existence. What would happen if, at a certain point, nobody but Eddie will remember him? He knows it’s not fair, but he isn’t ready to face Richie, so he spends what is left of the afternoon in the living room, doing basically nothing if not walking impatiently through the room and practicing with his speech. At dinner, his worried mother overwhelms him with so many advises about his cast that Eddie’s sure she’d bough something like the-updated-guide-to-annoy-your-son-about-his-cast-100+1-tips. He’s still nervous when he goes to his room, his hands are trembling and he’s sweating a little. But as soon as he closes the door behind him, Eddie understand that every practice he made during the afternoon is useless, cause he’s not ready. Fortunately - fortunately? - Richie is the first who speaks, but his voice is unsteady and he’s clearly scared. Or worse.

"Eds! Where have you been all the afternoon? You left me alone and he came. He came here Eddie!"

Eddie quickly crosses his room and goes sitting right in front of the bed. It’s the first time that he does it, but he needs to be as close to Richie as he can.

"Who came Rich? What happened?"

"The clown! The fucking clown!"

"He was _here_? Did he hurt you?"

Richie isn’t crying, but Eddie thinks it’s due to the fact that he’s so terrified he _can’t_ cry.

"Did he hurt you, Rich?"

"No, he wasn’t here _physically_. I-I mean, he talked to me, and I could hear his voice echoing all around the room. But I don’t think he can move from that fucking house in the first place"

"What has he said?"

"He asked me why I wasn’t scaring you anymore, and it’s strange! Cause it’s been _months_! And-and he never said anything! So I thought that maybe he was thinking that I’m useless and he would free me! But today he said that-that deep down you’re still scared by me! And-"

"Rich-"

"And he said that everyone’s forgetting me! My friends, my mum, my dad! They’re forgetting me Eds!"

Eventually Richie starts crying, _hard._ He’s sobbing so loudly that Eddie comes to think that his mother can actually hear him this time. He carefully lays on his belly - _I hope the floor isn’t too dirty! Don’t wanna think about all those germs!_ \- and stretches his good arm past the blanket and under the bed. He touches something furry - an arm? A leg? A shoulder? His ass? - and pets Richie slowly and softly. He’s startled by the contact, but seems to relax after a while.

"Rich, listen to me! They remember you! I-I think the clown did some kind of magic that leads people to forget, but- look! Today I’ve done something that could make you angry, but I just wanted- dunno. I think I wanted to be useful and help you! So I-I went to your house Rich"

Eddie feels Richie stiffen again under his touch, but he keeps on stroking his fur.

"To my h-house?"

"I found it, somehow. And I met your mom, and she _remembers_ you Rich! I swear it! And she says that your friends keep on showing up, even if, yes, they probably don’t remember well! But deep down they’ve not forgotten you Rich! They won’t give up on you!"

"She really re-remembers me, Eds?"

"I swear it! I wouldn’t lie on something like that!"

Richie sighs deeply, and eventually calms down a little under Eddie’s gentle touch, who’s now relieved he’s gone to Richie’s house.

"I’m sure that when this thing is over everything will go back to normality"

"Sure! But-but, you know what? The clown said that this isn’t over cause you-you’re-"

"Richie!"

Eddie abruptly raises his voice - not enough to be heard by Sonia but he _raises_ it - and suddenly feels like exploding from anger. He takes out his arm from under the bed and stands up.

_So this stupid clown comes here, well, more or less, and just say whatever he wants and fills Richie’s brain with dumb ideas! I hate him! I’m gonna go to his dumb house and beat him with my cast!_

"Don’t you dare think that I’m scared of you! It isn’t true Rich! I’m not fucking scared of you, dick head!"

"How can you say it? You’ve never seen me!"

"Then come out from this fucking bed!"

"Fine! But what’s gonna happen after is only _your_ fault!"

Eddie’s heart threatens to jump right out of his chest, cause sure, he’d just asked it, and he’s been wondering for months about Richie’s appearance, and he’s curious as fuck about it. But he’d never imagined that Richie would have agreed. Deep down he knows that he’s still a little bit scared, not by Richie himself, but by the fact that, whatever his appearance is, it had scared a boy so much that the whole family moved out. Eddie backwards a bit and then stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, watching closely as Richie shifts under the bed to get out. In the darkness of the room Eddie sees this strange creature crawling out - in a way that’s far from being creepy -, standing ungracefully and looking at him with actual _shame_. This _terrible_ monster is Eddie’s same height, has very long arms but short legs, and enormous eyes; he doesn’t really have a head, and his face is placed on the upper part of his body; he has a pair of little gray horns, and two pointy teeth peep out from his mouth. And he is entirely. Covered. By. Fucking. Fur. A dark purple fur with black dots. Its the cutest thing Eddie’s eve seen in his brief life - _oh my god, I wanna hug him right now!_ \- and he’s totally caught off guard. Richie probably reads his silence as a bad sign and lowers his gaze.

"I’m terrifying, right?"

"You’re so cute Rich"

"What?!"

At that Eddie erupts in a loud laugh, cause hearing Richie’s voice actually coming from that giant ball of fur and seeing his enormous eyes getting even bigger in disbelief, is way too much. He’s laughing so hard that Sonia shouts him to be quiet from the kitchen, and he’s forced to hold his stomach to suppress it.

"What the fuck are you laughing at, asshole?"

"I’m sorry! But, I mean- I’m sorry! How many years was the kid you scared to death with your appearance?"

"Dunno! Four? Five?"

"And the clown didn’t think to turn you into something more appropriate to _my_ age?"

"It’s not that I’ve told him the other family moved out!"

"Oh my god! This is _hilarious_!"

Eddie keep on giggling for a while, Richie still confused. Or astonished, he can’t really tell.

"We should have done this weeks ago, Rich!"

A funny little smile finally spreads over Richie’s mouth.

"You’re not scared then?"

"Come on! You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! Have you seen yourself in a mirror recently?"

"I tend to avoid it! And don’t call me that,Eds!"

"Hey, that’s my line!"

Eddie gets closer to him and shyly takes his hand - _thank god it’s dark! I hope he doesn’t see me blush!_ They smile at each other, and Eddie starts poking Richie’s furry belly with a finger.

"How can you be this soft?!"

"Dunno Spaghetti, but Mrs K loves it!"

"Asshole!"

They laugh again, and as the tension of the last minutes drifts away, Eddie feels very tired and a yawn escapes his mouth.

"Time for your beauty rest, Eddie?"

"Ah ah! Very funny!"

He leaves Richie’s hand and heads towards the bed, where he moves away the blanket and sits. Then, he turns his gaze at Richie while patting the space left near him and blushing even harder than before.

"Come here Rich"

"Eds-"

"Come on! First, I’m not scared. Second, there’s enough place for both of us. Third, you’re soft as fuck! You’re like a giant puppy!"

"Oh Eds! You flatter! Always knew you wanted to get me in your bed!"

"God, you’re so stupid!"

Richie goes at the other side of the bed and lays down face up, and arm thrown over the pillow, near Eddie, who covers them both with the blanket and shifts on his side, gently placing his cast on Richie’s belly and resting his head on his soft arm. Neither of them dare to say anything, and Eddie wonders if Richie could hear his heart, beating loudly, aching - in a good kinda way - for their closeness. He shuts his eyes and let his thoughts drift him away to sleep. It’s embarrassing to acknowledge it, but he’s really happy at the moment, cause he can be this close with his first friend, probably even his _best_ friend - and no, it’s not due to the fact that he’s the only one he has. And, to be honest, the one next to him is the _boy_ he probably likes. More than probably. Let’s say _surely_. And it doesn’t matter if he’s a boy in the body of a monster. And somehow this heavy feeling that’s burning inside of him, manages to escape his half asleep self.

"Rich?"

"Yes?"

"Everything’s gonna get better"

"Mmm"

"Rich?"

"Eds?"

"I really like u"

He falls asleep right after that, and Richie’s answer never reaches him.

When Eddie wakes up, the next day, he can sense that something is off, and that’s clearly related to Richie. He hasn’t the courage to open his eyes yet, and the things he can tell from his blind state are that his monster friend is way less soft than he was the night before. Actually there’s no fur at all. Long but skinnier legs are tangled with Eddie’s own, and long fingers - with actual nails and no claws - are tangled through his hair.

_Oh my god oh my god oh my god what the fuck is happening?!_

Eddie slowly opens an eye, then the other one, and as they finally focus, his breath gets stuck in his throat. Right in front of him there’s a boy, his face up towards the ceiling, eyes closed under a pair of coke bottle glasses. He’s very pale, and a lot of freckles paint his little nose. Eddie finds himself counting them, the same way he’d done looking at the stars that night back in November - _wanna try to connect them and find a constellation._ The boy suddenly shifts under his cast, and Eddie stiffens, afraid that he’s waking up. He keep on observing him for less than five minutes before the boy eventually wakes up. He just yawns and turns his head towards Eddie, opening his eyes.

"Eddie?"

Hearing Richie’s voice coming from this boy shocks Eddie, cause there’s only one thing that can explain it. Well actually _three_ are the possible explanation his half awake brain comes up with. First, this boy ate Richie while they were sleeping and now he’s calling for help from his stomach - _god_ _this is absurd!_ Second, a boy intrudes at night and decided to take a nap on Eddie’s bed and he happens to have Richie’s same voice - _I won’t even comment on this one._ Third, this is actually Richie and, somehow, he’d turned into a boy again - _this makes more sense and I want it to be true, so let’s just stick with this one._

"Rich?"

"Yes? Listen, now I know that I’m gorgeous, but stop staring at me, Spaghetti! You’re being creepy"

Excitement builds up inside Eddie’s stomach.

"Rich! Rich look-look at your hands!"

"Why? There’s something off with my-"

Richie raises the hand tangled in Eddie’s hair - who immediately miss that contact - and just stares at it with wide eyes. Eddie giggles happily and removes his arm from Richie, who stands in a sitting position, moving the blanket off and staring at his body. Eddie feels suddenly embarrassed and unties his legs from Richie’s bare ones, only covered by a pair of shorts - _not my short shorts but there’s too much skin in display here!_ Still laying down, Eddie’s eyes lands on Richie’s clearly over-worn button-ups, slightly discolored and covered in little pineapples, and another set of giggles shakes his body. Richie turns to look at him, a stunned expression still splattered over his face.

"What-what are you laughing at, asshole?"

"I’m sorry Rich, but the way you dress is just-is just so _you_ and it’s fucking funny!"

"Fuck you! This is called being fashionable!"

Eddie just laughs again, and Richie throws himself back down near him, sighting in a clearly relieved way.

"I’m finally back, Eddie! God, I can’t believe it!"

"Isn’t it strange Rich? I mean, I’m really happy that you’re _yourself_ again! But just yesterday the clown told you that you couldn’t turn back!"

"Actually I had a dream about him tonight. We where in Neibolt House again and he was yelling madly at me, he was really scary, Eds, and keep on saying that I ruined everything and that I was useless and..."

"What? What happened next?"

"I thought that he was gonna put me into another house, so I yelled, kicked him in his clown balls and just run away"

"You kicked him in his balls?"

"Yup!"

"That psycho asshole deserved it!"

Richie seems to think about something for a while, staring at the ceiling. The morning light coming from behind the curtains lights up his face, brightening his features - _oh my god, those fucking freckles!_

"Anyway, I think that this whole thing is related to what happened yesterday, to the fact that you aren’t scared by my anymore."

"It’s been months since I’m not scared by you anymore!"

"Sure, but you’ve never seen me before yesterday night!"

"Oh! Well, that’s true. But in the end you weren’t creepy at all! Actually you were really-"

 _"Cute_? Isn’t this the word you chose?"

Richie turns on his side just in time to see Eddie’s cheeks basically going on fire. He lowers his gaze and stares intently at the suddenly interesting pineapples on Richie’s shirt, and a half mumbled "fuck you" escapes his lips.

"Don’t be embarrassed, Eds! It isn’t even the worst thing you said!"

All of a sudden, Eddie hears something knocking at the door of his mind, a foggy memory of the night before who’s trying hard to being remembered despite Eddie’s will. He can basically _hear_ Richie grinning the next time he talks.

"If I recall correctly it was something like ‘Rich, I really like you’!"

He says it with this fake and annoying dreamy voice, and Eddie shots his head up again, ready to insult him or whatever, but then he sees that Richie’s a little flustered, and he’s overwhelmed by stupid cheesy feelings for the dumb and obnoxious boy – _god! This is unfair!_ And, well, the damage has already been done, so...

"Yes. I-I really like you. A lot. And it’s embarrassing and I- I’m sorry, ok? But I can’t change it. I really like like you Rich."

Richie’s eyes widened comically under his glasses and he blushes furiously. They’re so close that Eddie’s sure he can actually hear the other’s beating heart.

"Eds, I-I thought you were just gonna deny it. And I didn’t think you mean it like _that_!"

Eddie shuts his eyes hard, afraid that he has ruined everything - _he’s gonna hate me now! For sure!_ But suddenly he feels Richie leaning in till their foreheads touch, their noses tickling each other. He doesn’t have the courage to open his eyes but he _knows_ that their lips are just a few inches apart.

"I-I like you too Eds. I like you so much and- and I’m happy I met you! Actually I should be thanking Mr Pennywise, the matchmaker clown, for this"

They stay like that for a while, just smiling dumbly and giggling, and they’re so cute that Eddie’s inner bitchy attitude can’t stand it.

"Rich"

"Yes Eds, my love?"

"You stink!"

Richie lightly shoves him, gets into a sitting position and crosses his arms.

 _"You_ stink, asshole!"

"I shower everyday, dick head!"

He copies Richie’s posture and points at his feet, dramatically covering his nose after.

"Your socks! They stink Rich! Take them off for fuck’s sake!"

"Never! I’m never taking them off, I told you that! Also I need to show ‘em to Bowers!"

"Oh yes, please! Do it! And make him sniff them! He’s gonna die for sure!"

They keep on joking and bickering till Sonia heads out for work, then they go to the kitchen and have breakfast together. After that Eddie suggests they make a list of what they have to do in the near future, and it starts obviously with taking Richie back home. He also needs to have a talk with his friends before returning to school. And when Eddie gets back too, he will introduce him and-

"You’re gonna become an honorary member of the Loser club!"

Richie takes away the pen from Eddie’s hand and scribble down in his messy handwriting that he needs to take Mrs K to a date. Eddie shoves him and Richie draw a line on Mrs K’s name and writes _Eddie Spaghetti_ over it. He blushes and mumbles something that clearly sounds like _you wish it, dick head!_ but doesn’t ask Richie to erase it. Then he just draw a little house, and it’s left unsaid that they’re gonna work with the others to discover something more about Neibolt House and Pennywise, cause probably other kids were or actually are in the same situation Richie found himself caught in. After that Richie takes a red marker from Eddie’s case, a malicious grin on his face.

"I need to sign your cast Eds!"

"No fucking way! I know you’re gonna write some bullshit or worst _draw_ ’em!"

"Please Eds! Eddie! Spaghetti! Eduardo! Edward Spaghed-"

"Fine! Oh my god, you’re unbearable!"

Richie happily uncaps the marker and leans in, scribbling something over the space of the cast near Eddie’s elbow. He finishes in just five seconds and Eddie struggles a little to manage to see what he’s written there. When his eyes land on the little red _R+E_ he gets all flustered. Again. Maybe for the thousand time that day. He obviously doesn’t admit it - his face says it for him - but he really likes it. And if Bowers happens to see it and mocks Eddie for it well, he doesn’t give a fuck. He will just beat him in his balls with the cast - even if it’s gross. When it’s nearly noon, they wear coats, scarves, hats and gloves - Eddie manages to find something for Richie in his closet - and they get out, walking towards Richie’s house.

"Eds"

"Don’t call me that!"

"When everything is settled again, I’m gonna buy a new pair of socks"

"You know that you don’t have to throw this pair away just cause it stinks, right? I dunno if you’ve been informed, but you can _wash_ them!”

"It’s not that! I’m gonna buy a pair exactly like this and give it to you!"

"What for?"

"Cause then we would have the same socks! You get it Eds? Matching socks!"

"Matching socks?"

"Yup! And I’m gonna show you off in those socks at everyone!"

"God, you’re so dumb Richie!"

Eddie carefully takes Richie's gloved hand into his own - _God, I like you so much Richie!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you have free time and feel like it I would really like to know what you think about this! I'm dying to know other people's opinions :)


	2. Of clowns and band-aids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His heart is bumping loudly inside his tiny chest – _come on Kaspbrak, grow a pair!_ \- while he surpass people cheerfully chatting with each other. It’s not that he’s always this nervous, but today is a special day. Today is _the_ day, the day he will be officially introduced to the Losers Club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, I'm gonna start thanking every single person that has left comments, kudos, or just spent their time reading this. this chapter is especially for you, cause I really haven't planned it from the start. this is probably why it took me so long to write it. again, I've tried to create something cute, cause, in the end, this is the main topic of this fic.

_Fuck! I don’t know if I can make it!_

Eddie takes a deep puff from his inhaler, his feet glued on the street in front of the school. He’s quite afraid that he’s gonna have a bad asthma attack right there, in front of the kids that are entering the building. It takes him a couple of minutes to calm down, then he puts back the inhaler into his light yellow fanny pack and force himself to put a foot in front of the other, eyes looking intently at his surrounding. His heart is bumping loudly inside his tiny chest – _come on Kaspbrak, grow a pair!_ \- while he surpass people cheerfully chatting with each other. It’s not that he’s always this nervous, but today is a special day. Today is _the_ day, the day he will be officially introduced to the Losers Club. Sonia has finally decided that it’s s afe for him to come back at school – _promise me you will be careful Eddie-bear, I don’t want to pick you up at the hospital again after you fell from the stairs!_ Sure, Eddie is a little bit clumsy sometimes, but let’s say that without Bowers’ kind help he surely wouldn’t have been able to fell from the stairs in that way. It’s been three weeks since the accident, otherwise known as Henry’s failed attempt to shut his mouth once for all. But, most important, it’s been eighteen days since Richie’s finally managed to come back to his family. When he thinks about it, Eddie can actually feel something tingling at the side of his eyes, little tears of happiness that he hardly manages to keep from sliding down his cheeks.

  
  


Eddie had waited with Richie in front of his door, under the porch, squeezing and caressing his trembling hand in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

“Eds, what- what if they’ve forgotten me in the end?”

“I promise they haven’t! Your mother remembers you! I’m sure you’re such an annoying son to deal with! She couldn’t forget you even if she wanted, clown or not clown!”

A little smile seemed to light up his worried face a little. Eddie was still stunned, he couldn’t believe that this kid, this cute kid with messy dark hair, beautiful eyes and a tide of freckles scattered on his nose, was Richie. Richie, the monster under his bed. Richie, his first, best and only friend. Richie, the boy he lik- _not the time for this! Totally not the time!_ The boy in question turned his way and looked at him with that tiny smile still ghosting his face, making Eddie a blushing mess. When Richie finally knocked at the door, Eddie let go of his hand and took a few steps back, standing awkwardly in the lawn. Hours seemed to pass before someone carefully opened the door. When Richie’s mother’s eyes landed on him her face morphed into a mask of disbelief and shock. Sure, she seemed appalled, but she didn’t say anything, and for a moment Eddie actually thought that she didn’t remember him – _please, please! Remember him, please! I beg you! You said you remembered him!_ It was Richie the one who brook the silence when a single short word slipped his mouth, a whispered pleading question.

“Mom?”

Hearing his shaky voice actually seemed to wake her from her shock-like state. She suddenly dropped on her knees, arms stretched out to reach for her son and big tears already falling from her eyes.

“Richie, you’ve come back!”

At those words Richie threw himself forward, dropping on the ground and hugging his mother tightly.

“Mom!”

Loud sobs filled the winter morning, its cold breeze totally ignored by the couple on the floor. Eddie watched the scene, silent tears falling from his eyes too. He could feel his own heart burst, eyes fixed on the two shaking figures tightly embraced together. Richie’s mother had her long fingers tangled into her son’s messy hair, caressing him with slow strokes.

“My-my sweet sweet Richie! You’re finally at home! My b-beautiful boy!”

“Mom!”

Eddie eventually tore his gaze away, smiling fondly at them as he moved out of the lawn and on the street, headed home. He walked at a quick pace, hearing Richie’s voice on the background, calling for his mother. When he took a last look at them, Eddie could swear that he’d seen the woman staring right back at him.

One hour before his mother came back home from work, the phone rang and Eddie had been nothing less than surprised, if not a little taken aback, to hear Richie’s mom, Maggie, at the other end of the cable. She introduced herself and said that – _I don’t know how you’ve done it! But you’ve bring him back home. I’m sure it has something to do with you. And- and I will never be able to thank you enough for this!_ \- she would have really liked to meet him. He’d shyly agreed and greeted her, without saying much more than that.  
Falling asleep, that night, had been nothing less than hard. Some meddling neighborhood leaked about his morning stroll to Sonia – _mind your own business, you asshole!_ -, obviously pointing out how inappropriate it was, for two boys their age, to walk hand in hand. For the entire evening she kept on screaming at Eddie, starting with how dangerous it was for him to walk around the city in his condition – _and it’s so cold outside, Edward! You’re going to get the flu! I’m just worried for you! Why are you trying to hurt me?_ \- e nding with a terrible interrogation about the mysterious kid that had clearly plagiarized Eddie’s mind. He made a point of remain silent from s tart to finish of her mad scolding, tearing a few tears both when Sonia yelled about how dirty this boy surely was and when she said that Eddie was selfish and careless, just like his father had been. Later, in the darkness of his l onely room, Eddie ha d tightly wrapped himself with a blanket and hided his face into the pillow. Hot tears w et that same pillow while he secretly wished for Richie to be there with him. He wanted to hold his hand - _even his furry monster hand, I don’t care!_ \- to hear his voices, his stupid jokes. He wanted to sleep with him again, in the same bed, cuddled together. The knowledge that Richie was finally reunited with his own family managed to calm him a little, gradually stopping the fast rush of the tears, until he eventually fell asleep. He could still smell Richie’s scent on his bed sheets.

Eddie’s bad behavior costed him other two weeks at home, cause, as Sonia explained him, his unscheduled dangerous walk had harmed his arm’s healing process. Arguing with her twisted mentality was nothing less than useless, so he just passively agreed with his mother and postpone his reunion with Richie a little more. Eddie thought about calling him, searching for his family telephone number in the phone book, but then convinced himself that probably Richie didn’t have time to chat with him – _how can I be this selfish? He’s just come back home!_ _Stupid!_ But it was on Friday morning that he received the call. Eddie was reading a comic book, an X-Men comic book, one that he may or may not had bought for a certain Wolverine fan. He was lazily reading trough the pages when the phone started ringing. Annoyed, he got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen.

“Hello, house Kaspbrak”

“Good morning. I’m looking for Mrs K, I would really enjoy to take her on a date. Is that lovely woman at home? Could you maybe call her, please?”

Eddie’s features lighted up and he felt so happy and relieved that he ignored Richie’s stupid joke. A huge smile found its way on his face as his hand tightly gripped the receiver, he couldn’t even hold himself from giggling back.

“God Rich, you’re so stupid!”

“Eds, my man! I thought I was talking with the butler!”

“You know we don’t have a butler, dick head!”

“Sure, sure! Anyway, how’s my favorite plate of pasta doing?”

“Could you stop addressing me like I’m a meal instead of a person?”

“Nope!”

“God Richie, you’re insufferable! I hate you!”

“Oh, come on Eds, my love. We both know this isn’t true”

Eddie started blushing furiously, the redness spreading from his cheeks towards the neck. He thought that it would have been nice to be called like that agai- _no no no! What the fuck am I even thinking?_ For a few seconds a comfortable silence fell between the two of them. In that moment, Eddie could really feel how much he had actually missed the other boy, and he shyly hoped that he felt the same way towards him.

“How are things going at home Rich?”

A little sight came from the other end of the phone.

“I’m gonna tell you Eds, it’s pretty strange. I had to put up a dumb story about getting kidnapped by a psycho, or something like that, but the police really didn’t care. And at first my parents kept on asking me about it, but now I- I don’t know, it seems like sometimes they forget that I’ve been gone for months”

“This is strange Rich! Maybe it’s the clown magic again!”

“Probably it really is! Anyway, at least I got all of my friends back! You should have seen their faces Eds! God!”

A little grin appeared on Eddie’s mouth.

“I bet they were disappointed, this few months must have been like a holiday for them!”

“Please, they surely were both bored and boring without little ol’ me bringing happiness and light into their _boring_ lives!”

They kept on joking like that and laughing for a while, and Eddie drunk in every word Richie said, like he was his favorite drink and Eddie hasn’t had a sip of it in months.

“What are you gonna do with school?”

“Teachers said that if I wanna I can come back and try to catch up with the program. Probably I’m gonna struggle a little, but- you know, they said that it isn’t gonna be a big task for- for me”

There was something odd about the way Richie had said it, as if he’d just admit something embarrassing, something Eddie couldn’t really manage to catch.

“What? I don’t think I get it, Rich”

“You know, I am- let’s say that I’m actually good at-“

“No way!”

A sudden light of understanding switched on inside Eddie’s mind and he tightened his grip on the receiver, annoyance taking full control of his little self.

“Are you trying to say that you’re smart? That you always get good marks at school?!”

“Eddie Spaghetti, what is that tone of disbelief? You wound me!”

“Richie, do you perhaps get only straight As in-“

“The biggest straight A I’ve ever had is your mom as-“

“Richard Tozier! If you’re this smart then why the fuck did you never help me with my homework?! Asshole!”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve never done even _my_ homework! Of course I didn’t help you with yours, dick head!”

“I _hate_ you!”

“Sure, Eds, keep on telling it, maybe you’ll actually believe it at some point!”

Eddie knew that Richie _knew_ that he was joking, still he felt a sudden sting of guilt – _I don’t w_ _ant_ _Rich to think that I_ _really_ _hate him!_ The next words slipped outside of his mouth with a terrifying easiness.

“I’ve really missed you, Rich”

The boy at the other end of the cable let out a noise of genuine surprise. For a brief moment Eddie thought that he had screwed it, and in a bad imitation of a red fish he started opening and closing his mouth in a pretty nonsensical way, at loss of words. The reddest and most embarrassed of the fish, precisely. Probably sensing his struggle, Richie eventually got a grip over himself.

“I- I’ve missed you too, Eds. Wish I could have called you before”

“You know, I thought about calling you, searching for your number in the phone book. But then I let it drop cause you surely were busy. You- you were finally back to your parents, and your friends! I really didn’t want to annoy you”

“Eddie, I- you, you will never annoy me. I really mean what I said the other day, you know? That- that thing”

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Is Richie being shy? Is that what is happening right now?_

“I- I mean it too, Rich. Obviously”

“Right, obviously”

Eddie let out a bashful laugh, a deep blush heating his cheeks. His fingers were busy stroking and pulling the phone cable, a little distraction from the feelings-sharing-conversation they were having - _why is this so embarrassing for fuck’s sake?_

Eddie thought about confessing his little sleeping problem, the one that had mysteriously appeared since Richie stopped living in his room, but - _it’s silly! And I’m gonna sound egoist! Also he wouldn’t let me see the end of it! No way! This is not gonna happen!_

“Rich?”

“Yeah?”

_You know that I can barely sleep now that you’re not here with me anymore?_

“When are you going back to school?”

“I start next Monday! Actually I called cause I wanted to ask you if maybe we can walk to school together”

Eddie’s heart missed a bit and a huge simile threatened to consume his whole face. He nearly erupted into a mess of giggles, but then the insufferable voice of his mother crossed his mind and made him lose his excitement – _no school for other two weeks, Eddie-bear, and it’s only your fault!_ \- and as much as Eddie would have liked to answer Richie with a loud _yes_ , what came out of his mouth was the saddest opposite.

“No Rich, I can’t, I’m sorry but-”

What pervaded Richie’s next words was blatant disappointment.

“Oh, it’s- it’s ok Eds, of course. You don’t really have to if you don’t-”

“Hey, dick head! Could you please let me finish instead of interrupting me and make up things? I can’t come with you cause I’m not coming at school for other two weeks. Also I think that until I get my cast removed my mom will drive me to school”

“My beloved Mrs K! I hope I’ll manage to see her soon”

“Asshole! Anyway, when my mom stops punishing me cause Bowers has been a huge turd, I would really like to come to school with you. Although I know I’m gonna regret it!”

Richie’s mood switched in the total opposite way after Eddie’s explanation, excitement spreading out of the phone receiver while Richie got carried away.

“Yowza! Eds we’re gonna have fun together! I’m gonna tell you everything about my dreams, we can talk about comics and movies, and I can practice my voices and my new jokes with you, now that I don’t have my little cat friend anymore, and -”

“I’m already regretting it”

“-and I’m gonna whisper sweet sweet words to you, Eds! You’re gonna love it!”

Eddie could basically hear the other boy waggling suggestively his eyebrows. He didn’t even have the time to think of a good come back when Richie’s next words made his heart jump to his throat.

“And if- if there’s nobody in sight we- we can hold hands. Maybe. Just a little”

Almost out of breath Eddie barely managed to give him a proper answer, the prospective of holding hands – _oh my god! Maybe even without gloves!_ \- fogging his mind.

“I would like that, Rich”

After that they kept on talking for other twenty minutes about little nothings until Richie’s mom called for him and they were forced to hang up. Richie promised to call again on the week-end. He eventually did it on Sunday afternoon, but unfortunately Sonia was closer to the phone than Eddie, and, five seconds after picking up, she had rapidly dismissed whoever had been calling, proudly stating that – _my Eddie-bear doesn’t have and doesn’t even need friends! Leave him alone or his arm will never heal!_ The night ended with another nice screaming session and Eddie leaving the dinner untouched on his plate to hide himself in his room, under the soft blankets. He didn’t heard Richie again.

  
  


Now Eddie’s standing in front of the school entrance, hoping to find a mop of black hair before the ring of the first bell. Fortunately it’s a nice sunny day, the cold December breeze seems to have decided to give Derry a rest, and he can afford to stay out another bit. Suddenly, he hears a fuss behind him and a familiar harsh voice - _get out of the way idiots!_ \- followed by a series of mean laughs. On his rush to get away from the incoming trouble, Eddie bumps into another kid. He starts to apologize without even looking directly at him, hoping that he’ll let it pass, but, surprisingly, his endless excuses are stopped with stuttering kindness by none other than Bill Denbrough, leader of the infamous Losers Club. Well, Eddie assumes that he is Bill, basing his intuition on the kid’s stuttering problem and Richie’s description, still - _come on Eddie! You’re such a dork! Just cause he stutter_ _s_ _? Would you like people to see an asthmatic kid and assume that it’s you? All kids wearing f_ _a_ _nny packs and light_ _colored_ _polo are Eddie Kaspbrak? Now you’re just being stupid and superficial! What an asshole!_ \- he’s not actually sure about it. The other boy luckyly saves him from his guilt induced trip, putting a hand over his shoulder in a friendly way.

“H-hi! You’re Eddie r-ri-right? I’m Bill, one of Ri-Richie’s friends. We’ve been s-sea-searching for you for mi-minutes!”

Eddie gives him a little relieved smile and shyly takes his outstretched hand.

“Hi Bill, it’s- it’s nice to meet you. Richie’s told me about you- about all of you, precisely. I was looking for him too, actually”

“Cool! Co-come with me! Also I have to thank you c-cause we agreed that the o-one that manages t-to f-find you first wins a prize!”

As Bill leads him to the lawn at the back of the school, near the other entrance, Eddie has the time to take a proper look at him. He’s quite tall and has reddish straight hair, but the thing that impresses Eddie the most is the fact that he actually seems older. Bill gives off the vibe of a true leader, someone you can always rely on and trust. Surely he’s kinda cool too, as Richie has told him before, and you get used to his stutter pretty easily. Bill stops saying whatever he’s been saying, something Eddie hasn’t really paid attention to, and points his finger towards two other kids.

“Th-there! C-come on, Eddie!”

When they get closer Eddie is relieved to find out that one of the pair is Ben from his English class, sweet Ben that makes him company when he hides - _when I study!_ \- in the library. They share a knowing smile, a tint of complicity - complicity? - half hidden behind it while Bill introduce them.

“So, th-this is B-Ben and he’s St-Stan”

The first impression Eddie has of this curly haired boy, Stan, is that he seems kinda hostile towards him, something that makes Eddie wishes he could take a puff from his inhaler and preserve his dignity right after. His fingers are actually searching for the zip of the fanny pack when Stan’s blank expression morphs into a light grin.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with Richie for months. I just want you to know that you’re my hero!”

For a couple of seconds nothing happens, then Eddie gets his hand away from the funny pack and explodes into a loud laugh. All the tension he’s been building up since he went to sleep the night before finally slides off of him. Ben and Bill immediately join him while a big delighted smile spreads all over Stan’s face. Bill’s hand lays again on Eddie’s shoulder as he tries to say something between laughs and stutter.

“W-we are- we are so-sorry for you E-Eddie! So s-so-sorry!”

Then, Ben’s attention gets kidnapped by something - someone - who’s walking in their direction. For a moment Eddie feels himself freeze, the fear of meeting Bowers face to face for the first time after the accident creeping all over him. But when the sound of a familiar voice manages to reach his ears, and he turns and sees the kid that voice belongs to, he actually feels like he’s on fire. He blushes from the nose to the point of the ears, even thought Richie’s not laughing at something he’s said neither talking to him. He’s too focused explaining something - _something dumb, obviously!_ \- to a redhead girl that Eddie imagines must be-

“Bev! Ri-Richie! I- I think I won the p-p-prize!”

When he notices Eddie, Richie sprints towards them, eyes wide behind his lenses and a huge beautif- _annoying! It’s just annoying!_ \- smile plastered on his face. Eddie’s expecting either a couple of your mom jokes or a voice, at least, but the boy attitude slightly changes as soon as he’s closer, like he’s just seen something quite unpleasant.

“Alright Big Bill, fair’s fair! You’ll get your prize so hands off of my Spaghetti man!”

Eddie watches is awe as Richie reaches him and slides an arm around his shoulder. He turns the head a little to take a look at the other boy, but he finds Richie already staring back. A sudden thought crosses his mind – _I’ve missed you, R_ _ich_ _–_ before Eddie tears his gaze away and elbows Richie at his side. Still, he can’t stop his smile to grow wider and wider. He’s not even sure if he’s actually able to hide it.

“Don’t call me that, dick head!”

“As you wish Eds!”

“Neither that!”

“Come on, Eds! I know you secretly love my nicknames!”

 _Of course I love your n_ _icknames_ _! But I hate that I love them!_

“Bullshit!”

The others seem to find their intercourse pretty funny. The girl, Beverly, happily shakes Eddie’s hand, finally introducing herself and stating that she’d never seen someone able to copy so well with Richie’s obnoxiousness. She seems very easygoing and Eddie notices that he feels at ease with her. Falling into his leader role, Bill adds that, after meeting Mike, he’s gonna become an official member of the Losers Club. They all try to ask him any sort of thing, but Richie easily manages to steal Eddie’s attention back and they spent the minutes left before the ring of the bell talking and bickering about comics, falling into their routine as if they’ve known each other for _ages_. As they walk towards the entrance, Eddie’s hand bumps accidentally against Richie’s one, and he’s overwhelmed with the primal urge to hold it and never let go. His heart beating at a furious pace, he tries to think at something else, and when they enter the building, Eddie’s mind actually focuses on a total different matter. It’s the first time, since he’s started school, that he’s not gonna walk through the hallway all alone.

In the end, Eddie manages to experience _many_ first times, during his f irst day back at school . After dinner, eaten in a rush to escape Sonia’s rumbling about his cast – _Eddie-bear you need to be careful! It could get infected any moment!_ \- he takes his diary – _again, that’s not a diary!_ \- and writes them all, writing fast until his wrist actually hurts. When Eddie’s done, a pretty long list occupies one of the notebook white pages.

 _One._ First time entering the school with a friend, that has been quite fun.

 _Two._ First time sitting in class with a friend, something that, honestly, has his pros and cons. Pros, sitting with someone that really wants to sit with him, not just the unfortunate kid that came in last; also, it’s nice having someone who shows you their notes if you’ve just missed something, or someone Eddie can laugh with when a teachers says or does something funny. Cons, of course if that _someone_ is Richie, Eddie can’t focus at all, missing half of the teacher explanation, fighting hard to suppress giggles and hissing swear words every two minutes. This leads to another first time.

 _Three._ F irst time being reproached by a teacher. When Eddie’s math teacher called out for him during the lesson, cause he was laughing hard at Richie’s last bad joke, the rebuke itself left a bittersweet flavor on Eddie’s tongue. Sure, it hasn’t been fun, at all _,_ but – _you can’t be reproached for laughing if you d_ _on’t have_ _a friend to laugh with!_

 _Four._ First time not eating alone at lunch. Sitting at a table with Richie, and four other people he hoped he could come to call friends as soon as possible, has been probably the best moment of the day. Eddie and Ben talked for a while about books and stars, Bill asked him about his hobbies, Beverly – _please Eddie, call me Bev!_ \- Bev listed him Richie’s top ten gaffes and Stan tried to lure him into his bird watching pass time, but Richie ruined his attempt when he slapped hard his own forehead and started pleading for Eddie’s forgiveness as the great drama queen he is.

“Eds! I forgot to put on my lucky socks for your first day back at school! They weren’t on the floor this morning, mom has probably stole ‘em away to- to wash them! That evil woman! Will you ever forgive me?”

“Thanks god she did it, dick head! Bet they smelled like old- wait! _Lucky_ socks?”

It turns out that Richie and the others have been calling them like that cause _the pair of orange socks with tiny green dinosaurs that my beloved Spaghedward gifted me_ was way too long, and Richie talked about the socks at least once a day. Stan said it rolling his eyes in the meantime, unaware of the soft blush that suddenly colored both Eddie’s cheeks and Richie’s, who tried to cover it with a couple of dirty jokes about Sonia.

 _Five._ After that came another first time, the fist time Eddie was defended by Bowers’ gang. He hadn’t seen them for the entire day, but Henry managed to find him on his way out of the Science class.

“Look, new kid is back! I’ve missed you, little faggot! Come here, I wanna write my name on your cast!”

Eddie’s hand inevitably found its way to the fanny pack, ready to reach for the inhaler after what what was expected to be a nice slurs-session. He was nothing less than astonished when he felt someone’s hand touching his arm, fear spreading all over his tiny body. But when Eddie turned on his side and the view of a certain bespectacled boy filled up his eyes, he left out a gasp of both relief and surprise.

“I didn’t know you could write, Bowers!”

Richie’s mouth was turned into a shit-eating grin, but despite his attitude, Eddie could feel how tense he was.

“What the fuck do you want, Tozier? Wait! No way! Little faggot here is part of your shitty crew now? Guess your little group of losers needed a fag to be- ”

“Shut up asshole! Don’t call him that!”

Both Eddie and Henry were dumbfounded, Richie’s angry comeback was a reaction neither one of them expected at all. Eddie took advantage of Henry’s disbelief to catch Richie’s hand, dragging him along in a mad rush towards the exit. They fortunately managed to blend in with the crowd of students that was leaving the building, Bowers’ mad shouting behind them – _I’m gonna kill you!_ They hided behind a tree, watching the furious bully searching for them among the other kids, and when he angrily walked in the opposite direction, Eddie let himself explode into a series of little giggles. Richie followed him right after he took a few breath and recovered from the little run they had just had. He slid his back against the tree until he reached the ground. Eddie decided to just crouch on his heels at his side – _the ground must be so dirty!_

“God, you can’t keep your mouth shut, can you?”

The other boy smiled proudly at him, as if he’d just received the best of the praises.

“Nope! Not when I see a damsel in distress!”

“I’m not a damsel!”

“But you were in distress”

“Fuck you asshole!”

As Richie started rambling on about his bravery, while looking for his – their? - other friends, Eddie let his gaze fall all over his figure. His chest was rising and falling at a quick pace, his heart still probably beating a little too fast. Under his jacket Eddie could see the worn out yellow Hawaiian shirt, a look that, he actually struggled to admit, suited him very much – _god, how can he look so good into those dumb shirts?_ Raising his eyes on the boy’s face, Eddie noticed that the glasses were dangerously sliding down Richie’s freckled nose, and before he could even try to stop himself from doing it, Eddie’s hand moved forward and pushed them up again. He tried to hide his embarrassment by lowering his head, but he could feel Richie’s intense gaze lingering upon him. And when he let his mouth open, somehow, he managed to embarrassed himself even more.

“Thank you for that, Rich. For standing up for me”

 _W_ _hy do I have to be so stupid? Why?! He’s supposed to be the one who can’t keep his mouth closed, not me!_ He slowly raised his head and shyly looked at Richie, regretting it a second after. Sure, his cheeks were tint in a light red, but what was that, compared to the fucking annoying grin Richie has put on just for him? Eddie could basically hear him gloating. When he thought that things couldn’t get worst, Richie slid his hands on his face before half tenderly pinching his cheeks between his long fingers.

“You’re so cute Eds! Cute cute cute!”

 _S_ _ix._ And that was the first time that Richie has called him cute face to face – _and he pinched my cheeks_ _too_ _, with_ _his stupid long fingers, and_ _his stupid grin, and his stupid fre_ _c_ _kles on his stupid beautiful fac- fuck! I hate him!_ In the end, he was saved by the others, and as they waited for his mom to show up, Eddie was surprised with another first time.

 _S_ _even._ First time being invited to do something after school. Bill said that he absolutely needed to meet Mike too, and visit the clubhouse Ben had built for them all. Eddie promised that he would have convinced his mother, one _lie_ or another.

After finishing with his first times list, he actually puts down one or two good lies that could work pretty well for his purpose. When he goes to bed, he falls asleep in just a few minutes for the _first time_ since Richie’s gone.

It’s thanks to one of those lies that Eddie finds himself, a few days later, at the entrance of the famous clubhouse. He’s convinced Sonia to let him stay at the library after school for an English project with Ben. She’s been against it, at first, but after suggesting that, instead, they could have studied at Ben’s own house, she panicked and withdrawn her previous opposition – _you can stay at the library with this Ben, but be careful, Eddie-bear! You’re still weak!_ Eddie had never thought that her insane fear for the unknown amount of germs that inhabits other people’s houses, could be actually used in his own favor. That morning, she spent the whole ride warning him about dust mites and how bad they are for his asthma – _don’t worry, mom, to tell you the truth I’m going with my new friends to their secret place that’s hidden underground. In the Barrens. There’s no need to worry about old books dust!_ But when he arrived at school, everything Sonia has said slid off of Eddie, as he saw his own thrilling reflected into the others eyes. Richie had been over-excited during lessons and lunch too, when he showed them that he was wearing his lucky socks – _it’s such an important day Eds! No way I wouldn’t have worn ‘em!_ \- something that surely hadn’t made Eddie blush at all. But if he had been secretly happy about it, the greatest moment of the day, as far, had been riding with Richie to the Barrens. He really hadn’t thought about it during the previous hours, but when he found himself awkwardly waiting for the others to pick up their bikes, he felt oddly nervous. Bill tried to offer him a ride on his Silver, an enormous bike that wasn’t clearly supposed to be rode by someone their age, but he had been sharply stopped by Richie, who had _physically_ thrown himself between the two of them, a mischievous grin painting his pale freckled face – _no way Big Bill! Little Spaghetti here is gonna ride with me!_ Eddie couldn’t decide if he was more grateful that he’d saved him from Bill’s trap of a bike, or happier that he would have been able to wrap his arms around the other boy shoulders. It turns out that he was searching for that contact way more than he could have even believed, and when he settled down on the bike rack, Richie reached back for his good arm and tugged it forward, a clear suggestion for Eddie to hold on his waist. He tried to be not too obvious about how much he was already enjoying it. When Richie started pedaling, the sudden movement made Eddie throw himself against Richie’s back, face flushed on his backpack. If he wished there was no backpack between them, that was something he wouldn’t admit even to himself. As he clung even more, he felt Richie turning a little towards him – _face on the street dick head!_ -, and a few words told for him only reached his ears - _Don’t worry Eds, I got you! I won’t let you fall!_ That actually calmed his tense nerves, but still, he didn’t feel like leaving his place against Richie’s back. Halfway on the road Eddie thought that he would have liked to ride with Richie on his bike forever.

A spark of excitement jolts through Eddie’s body as he descends the stair that leads inside the clubhouse. When he reaches the ground and takes a look at his surroundings, he can’t stop his mouth to turn into a perfect o. Sure, Richie and Bev have spent a great amount of time paying compliments to Ben’s great architecture skills, but if Eddie thought that they were partly being exaggerate about it, now he’s forced to change his mind. They haven’t exaggerated it, – _they’ve fucking diminished it!_ _H_ _oly shit_ _!_ _How the fuck did Ben managed to do this?!_ Eddie keeps on staring in disbelief at Ben’s insane work while the others join him.

“It’s great, isn’t it?”

Eddie gasps in surprise and turns at his left, where the boy who has just spoken, presumably Mike, is looking at him with a gentle and sort of pleased smile. He’s quite tall, and – _fuck! Sure he seems the kindest guy alive but his arms! Is he really our age? He looks so fucking strong!_ \- surely working in a farm has helped build up his young body. Still astonished and half caught up into staring at him, Eddie’s only capable of letting out just a little sound of agreement, a nonsensical noise that escapes his already opened lips. Truth is, he’d really never seen something quite as incredible as the clubhouse is. It’s not that big, but there’s space fore everyone; comics and books are piled near the walls, covered in band and movie posters; there’s a swing and – _no fucking way!_ \- even a goddamn hammock. After what Eddie hopes have been just a few seconds and not full minutes, Richie throws an arm around his shoulders, finally bringing him back from his disbelief state – _see something you like, Spaghetti?_ They all laugh at his reaction, probably relieved that he likes the place that much. Poor Mike eventually manages to introduce himself, and after Eddie has shyly shaken his big hand, Bill looks straight at him in a serious way, waiting for the others to fall silent again. His next words make Eddie giggles of happiness.

“Welcome to the Losers Club Eddie!”

Bill doesn’t stutter even once.

  
  


A few days later they go to the clubhouse again after school. Eddie’s lie still stands cause it was highly improbable that he and Ben would have finished their project in just two hours spent at the library. But he has to think of a new pretext as fast as he can. Every passing day Eddie finds himself more and more comfortable with all the losers, discovers that he has lots of things or interests in common with each one, and feels like he’s really become part of their group. Surprisingly, they seem to accept pretty well the way he sometimes tends to be concerned about them. They’ve actually thanked him when he brought a first aid kid at the clubhouse. And since Eddie’s seen how clumsy and reckless Richie is, he’s been filling his fanny pack with lots of colorful band-aids. Now he’s sitting near the little heater Mike’s brought from the farm to keep ‘em warm, but not too close, cause – _I don’t really know if it’s gonna burst or, whatever, I don’t wanna burn with it_ – he’s not sure he trusts that thing. Actually, he’s busy watching Stan trying to convince Richie to put on his shower cap, without much results. Stan has brought a cap for everyone, to protect themselves from the spiders that could fall on their heads from the ceiling. Eddie has put on his one quite in a rush. Staring at the lanky boy sprawled in the hammock, a sudden question crosses his mind.

“Why’s Richie the one who always takes the hammock?”

“Cause I’m the funniest and the best looking here!”

Stan turns towards him rolling his eyes, Richie’s cup still in his hands.

“Beep beep Richie!”

As Eddie has learned the previous day at lunch time, _beep beep Richie_ is the loser’s way to say that Richie’s been way too annoying, or a valid replacement for _shut up Richie_. It doesn’t work every time. Regarding the hammock matter, it’s Bev the one who actually give him a proper answer, putting out her cigarette and leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

“He just jumps on it first and there’s nothing we can do to make him move his ass off of it. And even if we try he gets too annoying and we stop right after”

Eddie glances at the boy in question, who winks back at him as soon as he catches him staring. Eddie makes a point to take Richie’s place in the next two minutes. He reaches the hammock and put on his best intimidating look, eyebrows furrowed and hands on his hips. Clearing his voice, he tries to turn Richie’s attention away from the comic he’s reading. It doesn’t work, but Eddie knows that Richie’s ignoring him on purpose, and that knowledge fuel his stubbornness even more.

“Rich!”

He doesn’t bother to look back at him to answer, still focused on the page he’s reading.

“What’s the matter? I’m a little bit busy here”

“What, you’re busy reading about stupid Wolverine?”

“Nope! I’m busy thinking about your mom, Spaghetti! My beloved Mrs K!”

“First, don’t call me that! Second, fuck you! Third, it’s not fair at all that you’re the only one who gets to stay in the hammock! You’re being an asshole!”

“It’s cute that you’re trying to defend your new friends’ rights, Eds. Still, it’s useless”

Again, he says it without raising his his gaze from the stupid X-Men comic book, and the more he behaves that way, the more Eddie gets flustered.

“Well, maybe I just want to sit in there too! Have you thought about that, _genius_?”

Finally, Richie’s eyes land upon Eddie’s tiny figure. He would count it as a victory if it wasn’t for the stupid grin splattered on his face.

“Well _maybe_ you should have asked it, what do you think?”

“I’m asking you now! Asshole!”

“So you wanna sit in the hammock, Spaghetti?!”

“It’s what I’ve just said!”

They are both yelling, unaware of how an amusing show they have put on for the others. Mike’s enjoying it from the swing and Bev is coughing out the smoke of a new cigarette between laughs.

“Then it’s a shame it’s already occupied!”

“Well maybe if you sit in a decent way there’s enough place for me too, dick head!”

“Oh, so you’re telling that you want to share the hammock with me?!”

“Well maybe I do wanna share it with you!”

“Good!”

“Good!”

Richie drops the comic on the ground and settles himself in a sitting position with his legs dangling from the side of the hammock. Eddie quickly and clumsily tries to sit near him, afraid that he’s gonna change his mind. If the other see Richie actually helping him on that task and Eddie taking his hand, they don’t mention it. And when Richie intertwines their fingers behind their back, the moment they’re both settle down in the hammock, Eddie hopes that nobody notices it, so he doesn’t have to let go that warm hand. When he calms down a little, Eddie obviously starts blushing, something that’s happening way more often now that they can actually see each other – _why does he_ _always_ _have to make me blush! It’s not fair!_

“That was, something”

Mike tears Eddie’s attention away from his _everything Richie does is freaking annoying and fucking cute and I like him and I blush every fucking time and I hate it_ current problem, and also breaks the amazed silence the ir friends h ave fallen into. Laughs fills the clubhouse while Stan nods in delight and Bill says in awe that n obody has ever been able to get the hammock if Richie was already in there . As Richie himself tries to defend his honor – _you’ve all betrayed me in favor of Spaghetti man just cause he’s cute!_ -, Eddie notices that the others are sitting on the ground in front of them, and the way Bev and Bill are looking at each other makes him feel suddenly nervous. Richie’s still mumbling something about how unfair their treatment is when Bill interrupts him.

“R-Richie, we’ve waited f-for Eddie to come b-back to school, cause you s-sa-said that you didn’t want t-to do it without him, but now he’s he-here and we think that-that it’s time you e-explain us what really h-happened”

Richie’s mouth closes and his gaze falls on the ground while Eddie’s mind goes blank and he instead looks at him with wild eyes – _he hasn’t told ‘em! They don’t know!_ Truth is, they do know something, indeed, but Richie hasn’t told them the entire story yet. The others have been kind about it, they haven’t forced anything out of his mouth, but the desire to know is still there. How could it be any other way? Richie’s still silent, his eyes cast down, fixed upon the rough pavement of the clubhouse. Eddie squeeze his hand lightly, caressing it with his thumb – _I’m_ _right_ _here R_ _ich_ _, just tell ‘em!_ \- hoping that it will somehow bring him to speak. It takes him a few minutes, but eventually Richie starts talking. He’s already told them that he’s been kidnapped, and that somehow he found himself trapped inside Eddie’s house. The whole Pennywise and monster thing is what he’s left out. As he gradually comes through that, Eddie squeezes his hand even tighter, wishing he could just hug him – _god, I wanna hug him so bad! He looks so sad and scared!_ He doesn’t turn to discover Bev, Ben, Mike, Stan and Bill’s reactions, he can’t keep himself from staring at the boy who’s sitting so close to him, afraid that he would shutter into pieces if he dares to look away. When he reaches the end, Richie lets out a long but shaky breath, and Eddie can’t stop himself from awkwardly bringing him closer with his cast arm to finally hug him. Richie hides his face on his shoulder and the others raise on their feet and come closer, joining the hug. He can’t see him, but Eddie feels Richie’s hand tugging hard at his sweater, probably trying not to cry. After a while they all backwards, giving Richie the chance to finally rise up his head. They try to cheer him up, to lighten the mood the same way the now way too silent boy uses to do. Cracking bad jokes. They’re not as good as him, obviously, still it seems to work a little, cause a tiny laugh eventually escapes Richie’s mouth when Ben says that at least - _you g_ _ot_ _to_ _know Eddie’s mom_ -, something that has made him blush terribly and look at Eddie in an apologetic way. But he really doesn’t care, cause Richie’s laughing, and nothing seems to be more important than that, at the moment. He knows that they’re holding back all of the questions they surely wanna ask him, and he’s grateful that they’re leaving Richie time to recover. Stan lightly jokes about Richie being a monster since he’d known him, and Bev asks Eddie if he prefers him the other way rather than this. He knows that they’re joking, and he actually feels Richie’s body gets less stiff as they keep on talking, but Eddie can’t bring himself to mock him too. So, he rumbles his next words in a rush, eyes safely fixed on his cast, not daring to look anywhere else.

“I actually prefer him like this, but-but even as a monster he was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life! He- he was so fluffy and soft, and cute! And he wasn’t a monster monster, he was just a ball of furry, and had those big eyes and cute little horns and-and obviously he was as funny as he is now, I-I mean he’s not funny at all! But- I mean, I prefer him now but he was cute like that!”

 _W_ _hat the fuck have I just said, am I insane?! Fuck!_

He tries to reach for his fanny pack to take his inhaler but his hand is currently busy sweating the palm of Richie’s one. Eddie doesn’t know where to look at, but eventually raises his eyes on Richie himself, hoping that he’s recovered enough to crack a good joke and turn the others’ attention away from his embarrassing confession. But what he gets, instead, is a pair of wide eyes magnified by the glasses, a pair of eyes placed on Richie’s fucking red face – _oh my god i_ _s he_ _blushing? He’s_ _so cute when he blushes!_ They lock eyes, and Eddie is suddenly afraid of what will come out of Richie’s mouth. When his lips start to part, Eddie’s saved in extremis by Bev, who has surely read the mood pretty well.

“So this actually explain why you were able to break the clown magic. Cause Eddie wasn’t scared even after seeing you face to face”

 _Saying that I wasn’t scared is an understatement._ This leads the seven of them back to the main and hottest topic, Pennywise. They all agree that something needs to be done, cause the kids that had been missing, and that are half forgotten by everyone in Derry, has probably faced Richie’s same fate. The thought of those kids turned into monsters of all kind it’s too much. Suddenly, Bill’s face darkens and his stutter gets pretty bad as he tries to tell them something.

“G-G-Georgie said- he’s m-my little brother E-Eddie- he s-said that t-there’s a m-mo-monster in the b-basement. It’s b-been months s-since he’d told me t-the first time!”

“Fuck! Big Bill, are you sure?”

Richie’s physically leaning himself towards Bill, waiting for an answer and maybe hoping that his friend is wrong about it. But when he slowly nods, dead serious, Richie, who’s still holding Eddie’s hand, squeeze it hard. Eddie knows what it means. It means that they’re going to Bill’s house, they’re gonna talk to Georgie. And they’re gonna find the kid Pennywise has put into the basement to scare him.

The Denbrough’s house is nothing like Eddie’s one. It’s not a matter of furniture or space, even if the house is surely bigger and better furnished, but more something about the atmosphere that seems to light the whole place. Even without actually living there and without knowing Bill’s parents or Georgie, he can totally tell that the place is inhabited by a loving family. Who would have thought that love and affection could work better than a coat of paint? Surely, the Denbrough statue as a healthy family has been probably the only reason Sonia agreed to let Eddie go there. She’s heard about Bill’s father at work - _Eleanor says that he’s a really respectable man, Eddie- bear, you should spent more time with his son rather than that Ben kid or the others I’ve seen you with!_ \- and immediately approved their newly friendship. Eddie had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from telling her that all of his friends are great and - _also I’m not fucking trying to climb the social ladder by being friend with Bill! Who cares about his father’s reputation?_ But Sonia h ad said yes, for once, so Eddie h adn’t dared to say a word.  
When they get there, after school, they find Bill’s mother, Sharon, playing the piano in the living room. She’s a nice and elegant woman, and Eddie can’t stop himself from thinking that the only kind of music his mom is capable of mak ing , is the loud sound that comes out of the tv when she pushes the on button on the remote control. After greeting them, S haron asks Bill if he could keep an eye on his little brother while she goes out to run some errands. He agrees, lets her kiss him, much to Richie’s pleasure - _Mrs Dembrugh may I have a kiss too?_ \- and guide s them to the backyard, where Georgie is playing. Bill barely has the time to open the door and Georgie is already running towards him. Eddie watches is awe as this little kid, who’s probably six or seven years old, takes his big brother’s hand and happily greets him. When he notices Eddie and the others’ presence he dr a gs Bill down and whisper something at his ear. H e’s not actually very good at it, so they all hear him ask if he could stay with them and talk with the others too. Bill just nods and lazily strokes his hair, but says that it’s better they all go inside - _it’s t-too cold outside G-G_ _e_ _orgie!_ Watching their exchange, Eddie can totally tell why his friend seems older and also more responsible than he’s supposed to be at his age. Back in the living room, they all take a seat waiting for Georgie to take off his jacket and hat. Eddie has just been dragged by Richie on one of the couches when the little kid comes back and Bill introduces Eddie. At least he tries, cause the moment Eddie opens his mouth to say something nice, Georgie throws himself at Richie, totally ignoring him.

“Hi Richie!”

“Georgie, little man! It’s been a while! How is the best of all my friends’ brothers doing?”

“Good! I missed you Richie! I miss your voices!”

Richie launches himself into one of his dumb voices right away, and as the little one explodes into little sweet giggles, Eddie’s eyes darted from the two of them to the others - _what the fuck is happening here?_ \- until his gaze lands on Bill.

“I know E-Eddie. We can’t e-explain it even t-to ourselves, b-but Richie’s Georgie’s f-fa-favorite”

Stan looks at him and sadly nods as if Bill has just said that his thirteen years old cat died. On the other hand, Bev, Ben and Mike are quite enjoying it, and when Eddie’s attention is dragged on Georgie and Richie again, he can’t help to agree with them. Partly. Cause, sure, seeing Richie being funny and nice with the kid is actually kinda cute, but when the little boy throws his arms around Richie’s neck and hugs him tightly, a single lucid thought crosses Eddie mind - _I hate this kid!_ And as fast as that first one has come, others follow it just a few seconds after – _well, fuck! Ok maybe I don’t hate him, I mean, I don’t even know him! But what the fuck is he doing? He’s almost sit on Richie’s lap, I- I don’t think he’s supposed to do t_ _hat_ _and- and I’m certain Richie doesn’t like it! Fuck off Georgie!_ As he keeps on staring at them, Eddie feels a knot inside of his stomach, something very unpleasant that makes him furrow his brows. He doesn’t really get it, and he’s also totally unaware of the death look he’s throwing at Bill’s little brother – _yeah, keep on laughing like that! I know h_ _e’s_ _funny! And you know what? You may be h_ _ere_ _with him, but it’s just for today! He’s my friend and we’re gonna go to school together and we’re gonna spend so much time together and you’re not gonna be there too! How does this sound, Georgie? You know what? Fuck you! I really hate you!_ It takes Eddie a while to stop thinking bad things about the kid and realize what the hell is going on with him and his stomach. Well, Bev’s knowing glance has surely helped too. It’s hilarious, and fucking stupid, but what Eddie’s feeling, his nasty thoughts about Georgie and the knot inside his belly, are just a result of him being jealous. He’s never felt like that in his whole life, but there’s no other rational explanation. Not that being jealous of a six years old kid has something to do with being rational. As he tries to regain what’s left of his dignity, Bill gets his brother’s attention – _about time Bill!_ \- and begins asking him about the monster.

“G-Georgie we’re here c-cause we need t-to ask you s-something”

The little boy turns himself towards Bill and eventually stands on his feet to reach him.

“What do you wanna ask me, Bill?”

“You n-need to show us where the monster i-in the b-basement is”

Georgie’s eyes get comically wide and he starts shaking his head in denial. Even though he still kinda hates him, Eddie can’t stop himself to fell pity for him. He’s probably as much scared as the kid who previously lived in his house has been.

“Georgie, c-come on! You c-can show us! We’re gonna b-be there too and-and maybe we c-can make him go a-away!”

Mike joins him to help, but they still have to plead him for other five minutes before he eventually agrees and stands again, taking both Bill and Mike’s hands into his tiny ones.

The Denbrugh’s basement surely is creepy, no wonder Georgie’s afraid of it and Pennywise decided to put his monster down there. When they all descend the stairs, Georgie points his fingers towards an old closet that’s placed in the corner. The moment they try to get closer, something in there shifts and makes strange, awful noises. The little kid shrieks and hide himself behind Richie and Ben, who kindly kneels near him, whispering little comfort words. The others are taken aback, neither Bill seems willing to move, but Eddie can’t blame them, god only knows how much he’s been afraid the first time he’d heard Richie shifting under his bed. Sure, in the end he wasn’t scary, at all, but they don’t really know what’s hiding inside the closet. But as they’ve decided the previous day, something needs to be done, and if no one’s gonna take the lead, then Eddie’s doing it. He clumsily fight with the zip of his fanny pack to open it – _fuck, it must got stuck with a band-aid!_ \- for a while before he’s finally able to take out his inhaler. He takes two deep puffs and a long breath after, feeling a pair of eyes looming on him. Eddie dares to look at his side just to find Richie looking right at him, eyebrows raised in a silent question – _you ok, Eds?_ He nods in response and with the inhaler still held tight by his hand, he put one foot in front of the other, slowly getting closer to the monster’s shelter. Someone whisper yells behind him – _Eddie! Come back! What are you doing?!_ \- but he keeps on walking until he’s right in front of the closet. Not actually knowing what to do, he awkwardly knocks on the old wood, hoping that a light approach is gonna help him.

“Hi I-I’m Eddie. Eddie Kaspbrak. I don’t know how much you care about it but, listen, I-I know that you’re not a monster, well, you are right now, but I know you’ve been turned into it by the clown, by- by Pennywise”

The moment Eddie says the clown’s name, the monster shifts madly and let out another awful noise, making everybody gasps and backwards.

“Eddie get away from there!”

Richie’s concerned voice doesn’t reach Eddie’s ears, who’s too focused on the task at hand. The closet door is now opened a little, and the faint light of the basement is fairly enough for Eddie to see a figure crouched in a corner – _are those scales?_ \- as if it’s trying to hide himself.

“I’m sorry, I’m not here to hurt you! I, you know, there’s this friend of mine, Richie, who disappeared too. Pen- the clown kidnapped him and put him under my bed to- to scare me. He was turned into a monster too but we were able to bring him back!”

Eddie crouches too, getting even closer to the closet to take a look inside. He’s not totally sure of it, but the monster is probably something similar to a big snake or, at least, they have some features in common.

“I-I know you’re not a real monster, so, could you- could you please tell me your name?”

In the silence that follows his question, Eddie dares to take a look behind him, at the others, who surely are astonished but maybe a little less scared. Georgie is still hiding himself, with a hand clung tightly onto Richie’s Hawaiian button-up. Eddie turns around again and his heart threatens to fucking stop, cause a big yellow eye is staring right at him from the darkness of the closet. For a moment he feels like he can’t breath, but he tries to calm down with all his might, afraid that a bad reaction would scare the monster back. After a few seconds he hears a little hiss, and in the general disbelief, the monster starts to speak.

“My name- my name isss Eddie. Jussst like you. Eddie Corcoran”

A murmur of _fuck_ and _oh my god_ , comes from Eddie’s back. It actually sounds like they’ve suddenly remembered that name.

“Hi Eddie. How- how long have you been here?”

“I don’t know. It wasss sssummer when the clown took me. Can- can you really sssend me back home?”

“Sure, listen! You- you just have to let Georgie see you, and- and then if he’s not afraid of you you’re gonna turn back into your true self. The- the clown magic will disappear!”

But while Eddie’s excitement has been gradually growing in the last minute, the big yellow eye drops sadder in an instant. As well as he tries to deny it, Eddie knows what Eddie Corcoran is about to say.

“Then I guesss that thisss isss a lossst caussse. Caussse Georgie hasss already ssseen me. He hasss ssseen me thisss week too. And he didn’t ssseemed lesss ssscared than the other timesss”

“No! Listen, I- I’m sure that if we explain Georgie that you- that you’re not-”

The serpentine monster shoots forward, hits the wooden door and madly hisses at him, unbalancing Eddie and making him fall backward. He can’t move, eyes still stuck on Eddie Corcoran’s yellow ones, but someone grabs him from his good arm and the sweater, dragging him away from the closet. Incapable of tearing his gaze away, someone has to make him stand on his feet, probably Richie, or Mike, or both of them, and in a rush they all climb the stairs and slam the basement door behind them.

Back in the living room, everyone seem to have lost the temper. Georgie is crying hard in Bill’s arms, hand still tight around Richie’s shirt. Stan is standing awkwardly still near Mike, his face pale as he’s just escaped the worst of the nightmares. Bev and Ben are trying to make Eddie talk, but he doesn’t really know what to say. He’s raised the boy’s hopes, for a moment he’s probably though that he would have been back at home that same night. Eddie can’t make the image of that big sad eye disappear, and he wishes he could have been able to do something more for him. When Ben pats his shoulder in a caring way and Bev caress his arm, Eddie feels himself melt at the contact. He’s half aware of a hand cautiously trying to loosen his grip on the inhaler, that’s still tightly wrapped by his fingers. It’s only when he raises his gaze from the carpet that he realizes that it’s Richie, who’s looking at him with such concerned eyes that Eddie’s heartbeat fasten a bit. Without a word – _god, I wish I could hear your voice right now_ – he drags him into a heartwarming embrace. They stay just like that for a few minutes, but when Richie finally decides to talk, his words aren’t directed at him specifically. The hardness of his voice is something totally new, but Eddie can’t help to notice how much he resembles Bill now. How much he resembles their leader.

“If we can’t bring back all of the kids that had been turned into monsters, then there’s only one thing we can do. We have to go to Neibolt House. And we have to fucking kill the clown”

  
  


The plan – _if we can call it a plan_ – is rather simple. On Saturday morning, they’re gonna m eet at the clubhouse and just ride together to Neibolt House. There’s no way to know w hat Pennywise is gonna do, but they’ re half sure it will be hard for him to turn all of them into monsters, at the same time. That tiny, little hope is the only thing that keep the losers from losing their mind.  
Eddie and Richie are the first to arrive at the clubhouse that Saturday. Richie thought that it would have been nice to just spend a little bit of time reading comics or just distracting themselves before the start of the great mission. As well as he would have liked to look brave, E ddie really needed some kind of distraction. At 9 oclock h e was already dressed up, nervous as fuck but at least relieved that he didn’t have to put up a story for his mother. The day before she came back home fuming, yelling about how unfair it was that her boss had asked her to do an extra shift on Saturday. What was an annoying and outrageous request for her, turned out to be a fucking stroke of luck for Eddie. He actually came to think that it was a good sign. He had been waiting on the lawn for less then two minutes when a boy on a bike appeared from the corner of the street. The closer Richie got, the more Eddie was able to tell that something was off with him. When he stopped right in front of him - _your ride is here, good sir_ \- Eddie’s eyes landed on the countless scratches Richie’s exposed skin was covered in.

And as his gaze fell on his knees, or better on the ripped, dirty and a little bit bloody jeans that rested there, Eddie though that the morning had not begun in the best way.

“What the fuck happened to you?”

“Rude as always, Spaghedward!”

Richie crossed his arms on his chest faking annoyance, but with his head motioned Eddie to take a seat on the bike rack. Eddie followed his lead and threw his arms around his waist, but the moment Richie started pedaling, he resumed with the interrogation.

“What happened Richie?”

“No big deal Eds, I just fell”

“You just fell?”

“As I’ve said like, one second ago, I just fell”

“Does it hurt?”

 _T_ _oo obvious? Fuck! Why can’t I just shut up? Well, but what if it really hurts?_ At the thought that Richie was actually hurting, his arms may or may not have tightened a little around him.

“Oh! Is my little Eddie Spaghetti worried for me? How cute”

“Asshole!”

Down in the clubhouse, now, despite his loud protests, Eddie makes Richie sit on the hammock - _take off your jacket first!_ \- and g athering the first aid kid, he starts fixing him. It’s gonna be quite a hard task, with his cast and everything, but there’s actually a fat, big nothing that can stop him from save his best friend from a fucking infection. He starts with Richie’s knees, or better, the mess his knees have turned into. With a little pair of scissor he cut open the fabric – _I’m sorry Rich, but they’re ruined already!_ \- to take a better look at the skin underneath. It’s not as bad as he’s thought at first, still there are scratches. And dirt. And blood. Eddie needs to take in a deep breath before keeping on with his work.

“Is it that bad, Dr K?”

Eddie ignores him, takes a gauze and the antiseptic and, as gently as he can, starts wiping the wounds. Richie hisses at the contact, but in the end manages to stay still.

“I’m sorry! But there’s so much dirt! How did you fall from the bike?”

“I saw your mom crossing the street and got distracted by her big as-”

“Shut up, dick head!”

Most of the blood is out of the way now, and Eddie is able to take a better look at the scratches – _thank god they’re not too deep!_ He takes another gauze and starts wiping all over again.

“I’m sure this isn’t the proper way to treat a patient, Dr K! You’re being very rude! Just know that I’ll have your job!”

As a small smile crosses his face, Eddie takes out a few band-aids from the fanny pack. He puts three yellow ones on his left knee and two orange ones on the other. He backwards a little, checking his work and just nodding with satisfaction. Then, his gaze lands over Richie’s hands, that are still scratched but at least not as much as his knees. Grabbing a new gauze from the first aid kid, Eddie takes his left hand – _don’t blush idiot! You’re just fixing his wounds!_ \- and gets back to work. Now that he’s actually this close, he can see and feel the other boy trembling.

“Rich are you ok?”

The other snorts at him.

“Why wouldn’t I be, Eds?”

“Mmm, cause you’re fucking trembling, maybe?”

“Well, whatever”

Eddie angrily stares at the other boy’s scratched face. Richie isn’t even trying to hide his nervousness, running his free hand through the mess of his hair and looking at something that’s surely not so interesting in a corner of the clubhouse.

“ _Well whatever_ ”

It’s ridiculous the way he’s able to talk for minutes about the dumbest things without taking a pause even once, but can’t answer a simple question concerning his own well being. Rolling his eyes, Eddie drives his attention back on Richie’s right hand. He’s carefully putting a green band-aid right on the palm when Richie sighs deeply. Eddie can feel his shaky breath on his cheek.

“It’s just- is this clown thing Eddie. I know I’m the one who said that we need to go to Neibolt House and fight him, and-and I still believe that we should do it, you know? But I’m- I’m concerned about something”

Humming back at him, Eddie takes Richie’s other hand and starts cleaning it. Maybe if he stops asking him things he will just keep on talking.

“I don’t know what Pennywise is gonna do, I don’t know what _we_ ’re gonna do! But- but I’m scared”

Fuck with the silent treatment – _has Richie just admit that he’s scared?_

“I am too Rich, but we’re seven and the clown is alone. I’m sure that if we fight him together we can win”

“Yeah, I know it but- but that’s not what scares me the most!”

“And what’s the thing that scares you the most?”

Eddie wraps Richie’s fingers in other colorful band-aids and points his attention at his face. He’s still looking away, his eyes are darting in every direction, carefully avoiding the boy in front of him. Eddie shakes his head and grabs another gauze.

“Well, it’s- you know, I was thinking that-”

“Could you take off your glasses Richie?”

“-that I don’t really want you to come”

Eddie has to blink a couple of times before his brain actually manages to catch what Richie’s just said – _he doesn’t want me to come with him?_ There’s more than one reasonable reason for him to say something like that, but the only thing Eddie’s thinking about, at the moment, is his mother, and what she’ s always t old him – _Eddie-bear you’re so delicate! You need to be careful or you’re going to be sick!_ Her upsetting voice echoes in his mind, and as the truth – the truth? - behind Richie’s words settles in, Eddie backwards a little. Could Richie be able to see the hurt on his face without his glasses?

“You- you don’t want me to come?”

“Yes”

“Cause I’m weak? You don’t want me with you cause you think I’m delicate and-”

“What? No, Eds, this is not-”

But instead of shutting up and just listen to Richie, who’s surely gonna try to explain himself, Eddie starts rumbling, clenching hard the gauze he’s been using to clean the other boy’s face and pacing around the clubhouse. If he could just spare a moment to look at Richie’s face, Eddie would certainly catch the confusion fogging his features.

“I’ve had enough of this! I’m- I’m not weak! I’m not delicate! Mom has always treated me like that and- and you know it! You know how she is with me, cause you fucking lived in my house for months! You know how she is with me! Why are you telling me this now? I thought- you know what? Fuck you! Yes! Fuck you, fuck my mom, fuck Henry Bowers, fuck this stupid asshole of a clown! I’m _not_ fragile! And if even _you_ think this of me then I’m gonna show you all how much tough I can- I can be. I- I’m gonna go alone and- and-”

 _Fuck! I can’t breath! Great t_ _iming!_ _H_ _aving an asthma attack when I’m trying to prove that I’m not weak! Fuck!_ As he clumsily tries to grab the inhaler from the fanny pack – _where the fuck is it?!_ -, a pair of hands comes down on his shoulders. Eddie’s eyes automatically rise up and lock with Richie’s concerned ones.

“Eds! Look at me! Breath slowly! Come on! Come sit with me in the hammock, yes?”

Still mad but mostly grateful, Eddie follows him. It takes them a while to get both in the hammock, but Richie’s caring and careful manners are actually helping him calming down a little. They’re settled cross legs, face to face, Richie’s band-aids clothed hands on Eddie’s cheeks.

“Eds, can you try taking a few slow and deep breaths and shut up for a moment?”

Albeit reluctantly, Eddie nods and, in fact, finally shut up.

“Look, there’s no way, no fucking way, ok? No way that I would think that you’re weak! I mean, I’ve already told you. You’re a little ball of fury Spaghetti. You’ve basically scolded a monster that was scaring you for what, a month? And- and you talked back to Bowers too! Sure I do it like, every time, but just cause I can’t keep my mouth shut. And the other day, with the kid that was not a kid down in Bill’s basement? Fuck, that was scary as hell, I was scared! I- I was scared that it would have hurt you.”

Despite his breathing being finally under control, Eddie’s heart gradually starts beating faster and faster as Richie’s words sink in – _I’m blushing? I’m definitely blushing. Why the fuck do I always blush with him?_ His skin grows hotter under Richie’s hands, and even if Eddie is sure that the other boy can’t still see him well without his glasses, there’s no way that he’s not gonna feel the heat coming from Eddie’s red face.

“Eds, I said that I don’t want you to come to Neibolt House with me cause- cause I’m scared that Pennywise will hurt you. I know that you’re strong, fuck Eddie! You’re so brave! You’re braver than you think. But what if he takes you away? What if he turns you into a monster. I- I don’t want to lose you. It’s not that I don’t care about the others, of course I care! But- but with you it’s- it’s different.”

By the way it beats, there’s a high chance that Eddie’s heart is gonna jump out and trow himself at Richie. His chest rises and falls at a quick pace – _please not another asthma attack! Not right now!_ \- and his hands are awkwardly tugging at the edge of his sweater. Eddie needs to say something back, to tell Richie that he actually gets it, he knows how he’s feeling cause it’s the same for him. Of course it is. But when Eddie tries to put it into words, an incomprehensible sound escapes his mouth. Surely, it would be easy to talk if his face wasn’t squished between Richie’s hands.

“What have you said?”

Trying to speak again but miserably failing, Eddie rolls his eyes and points at the source of his little problem. Richie’s hands eventually let go of his face and Eddie is finally able to talk in a proper way.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you Rich, I should have just listened to what you were saying instead of acting like that. But I get it, why you’re scared. Cause I’m scared for the same reason. I don’t want Pennywise to hurt the others but I can’t stand the idea of it hurting you”

 _Enough with this confessions! It’s so fucking embarrassing! I now I’m blushing but why does he need to blush too?_ For a minute or two they both keep on looking at each other, then avert their gaze away, then glance sideways, and again look away. It’s stupid, and maybe it’s also kinda cute, in a certain way, but after a while they both end up laughing madly at it. Honestly, it’s dumb that they’re acting like a couple of tiny little birds in love, chirping at each other but then shyly looking the other way, when there’s a fucking clown to fight. Eddie is the first one to regain his composure, and while Richie throws himself in a frankly not so bad imitation of Henry Bowers, Eddie finishes patching up his dumb – cute – freckled face. Standing again to check on his work, Eddie’s eyes lands on Richie’s feet. A little smile crosses his face as he looks at the Lucky socks.

  
  


_N o. F ucking. W ay!_

Neibolt House is way worst than Eddie has expected it to be. He’s never seen it before that moment, and sure, the losers have tried to describe it before – _Ben’s drawing was actually kinda cool!_ \- but Eddie has thought that they were being exaggerated on purpose. It’s old, abandoned, dirty, scary, _dirty_ , and, yes. It seems like something is calling for you to get inside. Creepy sunflowers – _I don’t think sunflowers should be that “alive” in December_ – are messily spread around the house, and they all seems to look at it. A metal fence runs all around the lawn – _is that rust?!_ \- but there’s no gate anymore. Eddie looks at the windows, h oping not to find s omeone looking back at him behind the dusty and wrecked glass. A shiver runs all up his back, reaching the nape of his neck. He doesn’t dare to say it out loud, but he’s sure that even if they manage to fight the clown and somehow escape the house alive, they’re all gonna get some sort of ugly infection – _mom would be delighted_ . It’s oddly reassuring, and a clear hint that he’s going insane, that if the clown defeat them, then he won’t have to worry about disease anymore. The sudden and c razy thought snaps Eddie away from his trance. Bill is giving them some sort of prep talk, a reassuring speech that surely would have helped him feel a little less scared, if only he has listened a word. He’s still staring at the house when Richie cracks a joke that make the others laugh. It’s strange that he would have like d to hear that more than he wishes he has listened to Bill?  
They enter the house slowly, carefully, Bill and Richie guiding them through the door. If the outside was bad, the inside is even worst. Everything is wrecked, there’s dust and dirt everywhere and – _fuck_ – even giant spiderwebs spread all over. What is left of the furniture is rotten, or broken, or rusted. Eddie thinks he could use a god puff from the inhaler.

“Be careful, the fucker is gonna pop up at any moment”

Richie’s face is painted with this determined look that is nothing like his usual goofy attitude, but kinda suits him. Eddie’s still looking at him when he feels, more than actually sees, something shifting behind Mike, at his right. He turns to warn him but his voice gets stuck in his throat at the sight of the clown that’s standing behind his friend. Is Bev the one who yells, catching the others attention. They all backward between gasps and screams, eyes stuck on Pennywise. It’s honestly fucking scary. Richie’s description was quite accurate, still Eddie could have never been able to picture its mad eyes, hungrily scrutinize them. There’s nothing funny about this clown, not its pompous silver dress with orange pom pom buttons, not its orange hair. Surely _not_ its creepy smile. When its eyes darted on Richie, Eddie feels himself freeze on the spot.

“Richie, you brought me friends to play with? I’m still mad at you, you know? You ruined my plan! You disobey me!”

The clown’s voice keep on changing, at first oddly sweet and playful, then angry and threatening. It hasn’t moved yet, fortunately, but the way it talks is far enough to make Eddie wish they had never come at Neibolt House.

“I have plenty of kids working for me, right now. Scaring other kids and bring me beautiful, succulent fear!”

 _Oh my good, is i_ _t_ _drooling?_

Pennywise’s attention now lands on Bills, who’s standing pretty close to a way too frightened Stan. Its eyes shine and a diabolical, wet smile twists its face.

“Oh, you’re Bill right? Georgie’s brother! You didn’t believe him, did you Bill? He was so scared, and you didn’t help him! Your little brother’s fear tastes so good, it’s so sweet.”

Bill visibly stiffens at Pennywise’s words.

“F-fu-fuck you! Leave m-my brother a-alone!”

The clown, who’s clearly having the day of its life, lets out a mad laugh, a creepy sound that Eddie swear he could feel resonate through his entire body. As if sensing it, Pennywise turns to glare straight at him. Eddie dryly swallows.

“I see, I see how it is. You’re not the kid that Richie was supposed to scare. Now I totally get it! How rude of you Richie, to not tell me that the other kid was gone. Ohh, but I’ll make you pay for this! Oh oh! You’ll all pay for this! I’m gonna turn everyone of you into my personal monsters. There are so many children to scare, so many delicious fear to eat!”

“We’re not gonna work for you! And leave the other kids alone! You’re the only monster here!”

At Mike’s brave words, Pennywise actually takes a few steps forward, making them scream and backwards again. It then raise its arms and stretches them as much as he can, as if trying to reach for them but not being able to.

“I can’t touch you! Not anymore! Oh I really want to, right now! I wanna put my hands on you, losers. Wanna eat that bravery off of your face, Mike! Wanna eat Stan’s juicy fear. Oh, Stan, I wish I could do it!”

Its pleased grin falls, leaving the clown face as a mask of annoyance and rage. Stan hides himself behind Bill, but the rest of them choose to just stay still.

“It’s the Turtle’s fault! It trapped me here, and I can’t go out. I can’t escape my prison, I can’t actually touch you. But now you’ve come to me, and I’m gonna play with you, losers!”

A loud, disturbing laugh echoes through the entire building and Pennywise suddenly vanishes, as fast as he’s appeared a few moments before. They all look around, searching for it, careful to never leave their back exposed.

“What the fuck! Where is it? Where are you hiding, motherfucker?!”

Richie’s yells fill the silence that has come after Pennywise laugh has stopped. Bev has just opened her mouth to say something when a loud sound – _Snap_ \- makes her turn towards Ben. But there’s no Ben at her side, not anymore. At his place, on the ground, a girl with long, dark and dirty hair is crawling towards her. Her face is covered, but it doesn’t actually matter. Cause she’s entirely covered in blood. Red, disgusting and apparently warm blood. Bev lets out a terrified sound and covers her eyes. Bill’s the first to shot forward and grabs her hand, taking her away from the horrifying creature.

“What the fuck is that thing?!”

“Where is Ben? Ben! Ben!!”

“Bev, c-come on, are you a-alright?”

In the chaos that follows the creepy girl appearance, Richie and Eddie are the only ones that actually understand what has just happened. They stare at each other for a brief moment, a couple of seconds in witch multiple questions are silently shared. But there’s no mistaking, there’s no need to ask it, cause even if it’s terrible, even if the mere idea of it it’s fucking frightful, here it is. It’s Eddie the one who finds the strength to put it into words.

“Guys, that- that thing, the monster. It is actually not a thing. It’s- it’s Ben. Pennywise turned him into a monster”

It takes the other a wile to digest it. Sure, Richie has previously told them what happened to him. Sure, they all know about the monster in Bill’s basement. But this is different. This is happening right before their eyes. For a moment they try to find another explanation, something that could justify both Ben’s sudden disappearance and the appearance of the monster. Richie yells a little, kind of frustrated by their reaction, but with Eddie’s help, they manages to convince them that, unfortunately-

“This is how the things are right now! It’s was the clown does! Turn you into something that can scare the others! But we can fight it, ok? Bev, Bev!”

Eddie reaches Bev’s side, lightly shaking her arm. When she eventually drops her hands, a frightened look plastered on her face, Eddie keeps on talking.

“Bev, I- I think that this is your monster, the things that scares you the most! But you need to believe us! It’s Ben! You- You just need to understand it! Does Ben scares you?”

Bev raises her gaze from the ground and shakes her head in denial, her fiery hair matching the tint of fire that has suddenly lighted up her eyes – _Richie’s right, Bev! You’re a fucking badass!_

“Ok, good! So, I know that it’s easy for us to talk! Cause, cause we may be scared, but Ben appearance is aimed to scare specifically you, apparently! But, look, he isn’t even trying to get closer anymore!”

The bloody girl has actually stopped crawling on the floor towards them, and she’s just saying Bev’s name. Her tiny and scratchy voice is barely able to reach them, covered by Eddie’s one. He takes Bev’s hand and, slowly, they finally approach the monster – the monster? - Ben. The way this girl is calling for Beverly is actually pretty creepy, and Eddie can’t blame Bev for stopping a few times. Behind them their friends encourage her to keep going. Richie joins and take her hand, and after a few more steps they reach the monster’s bloody figure. It takes her a while, another three or four minutes, but then, showing the bravery and fierceness that characterize her, Bev kneels on the ground and stretches her hand towards the girl.

“Ben? Are- are you really Ben?”

The girl raises her head. No face could be seen under her dark hair, but she nods slowly, calling for Bev again. Then, she moves her hand towards her, dense drops of blood falling down from her fingers. Eddie can’t even imagine how hard it must be for Bev – _shaking hands with the thing that frightens you the most? No thanks!_ She lets out a long breath before grabbing the monster outstretched hand and shutting her eyes tightly. A scream trapped inside of her, she’s probably waiting for the monster to attack. But nothing happens, and when Bev finds the courage to look back at their joined hands, a relieved sight leaves her lips.

“Bev…”

“You’re really Ben, aren’t you?”

 _Snap_ . In a blink of an eye the monster girl vanishes and Ben is back, still holding Bev’s hand. They help him stand up, asking if he’s ok, if he feels something strange. Ben’s grateful face suddenly morphed into pure shame, as if he was the one who scared Bev a few moment before. In order, he apologizes for it, gets scolded by Bill cause he’s just apologized, finds himself embraced by Bev, receives a suggestive eyebrows waggle by Richie and a caring pat on the back by Mike - _god, Ben is the sweetest boy alive!_ Eddie’s turning around to search for Stan, who’s been more quite than he usually is, when – _Snap_ – a giant, terrifying bird chirps right at his face. More than a chirp is the terrible sound of nails scratching a blackboard, amplified to the extreme. It’s taller and bigger than him and, god - _his beak shouldn’t be this pointy and sharp, should it?_ Someone grabs Eddie from his good arm, dragging him away from the loud creature. It’s Richie, and they backward until they reach a presumably safe distance. Then, their hands slot together, each one tightly grabbed by the other . This time everybody seems to catch instantly that Stan’ s the one who’s been turned into a monster. Eddie can’t stop himself from notice the sadistic humor behind it – _Stan turned into a monster that’s actually a creepy version of the thing he likes the most?_ \- and throws a glance at the others to see who this big bird is aimed to scare. It’s almost immediately clear that Mike’s the target cause, honestly, Eddie has never seen him really affected by anything since they met. The wild look on his face is something so distant from his usual soft smile or, anyway, his calm features, that there’s no mistaking. Suddenly, Pennywise creepy laugh resonates through the place, and his voice makes everybody, Mike excluded, turns around searching for him. However, he’s nowhere to be found.

“Oh, you like this game, losers? I can smell it, I can feel it! Beautiful, beautiful fear! We’re gonna play this game forever! You’re gonna stay here in this house with me! And I’m gonna feed myself with your delicious fear!”

As the clown starts laughing again, Richie screams at him, mostly swear words and vain threatening. They manages to convince Mike to walk near Stan’s monster form, and after a few attempts, he eventually strokes his feathered chest. Then, Stan is back again, but it’s no use, cause the next moment – _Snap_ – Bev is turned into a leaper. Eddie, tight in Richie’s arms, almost has an asthma attack and needs to get his inhaler. Touching the monster rotten skin is, hands-down, the most fucking disgusting thing he’s ever done. But when Beverly is back – _Snap_ – Bill turns into a creepy woman with a pale, deformed face. Stan almost faint. _Snap_. Eddie is turned into a devilish bad copy of Georgie – _fucking hilarious, you asshole of a clown!_ Then. _Snap_. Mike became a mummy, Ben’s personal monster. It goes on and on, there’s no rest for them. The moment they’re able to turn the one who’s under Pennywise magic back. _Snap_. Another one is transformed. They turn him back. _Snap_. Someone else is a monster. It’s an endless circle and the worst thing about it is that Eddie is more afraid of that ‘snap’ than whatever is gonna pop out after. Time passes, relentless, merciless. If it’s been just minutes or whole hours, none of them can say.

“Oh oh! Losers! How sweet, how tasty is your fear!”

“Just shut up, asshole!”

Richie is furious, tired as the rest of them, but with a manic expression on his face. Eddie tries to reassure him but the boy starts pacing around the room, frantically moving his hands and shouting at the clown.

“Leave us alone! Don’t you get it? You can scare us for a moment, but we’re gonna always be able to bring each other back! Even when you transform us we- we are not gonna try to scare our friends, ok? You can’t defeat us like this, motherfucker! Show your dirty face! Clown! Stupid asshole! You’ve done this to me but I’m not gonna stand looking at my friends to become monster one more fucking second! It’s enough! Are- are you scared? Is that why you won’t show yourself?”

It would have been kinda predictable then, for Pennywise, to appear in the middle of the room. Maybe Richie was aiming right at that, but the moment he shut his mouth, its voice makes the walls tremble.

“Oh, so it is like this, Richie. You’re not scared? Those monsters aren’t enough scary for you? Well, I know a couple of things you’re pretty scared about!”

Eddie’s gaze darts towards Richie, who’s suddenly coming right at him, eyes wide behind his thick lenses. When Richie’s arm goes around his shoulder, protectively, Eddie can’t keep himself from thinking how much he lik- _that’s not the moment, idiot! Come on! There’s a clown somewhere in this damn house! Not the time for feelings_.

“Richie, you know I can’t touch him, I can’t touch no one! But there’s something else you’re very afraid of, right? And that, that is something I am very capable of doing!”

 _Snap_ . As soon as he hears the sound, Eddie looks at his friend s , more out of curiosity than to check who’s the one that has been turned into a new, more or less, scary monster. He feels guilty about it, but he doesn’t really know what could be able to scare Richie so much. It’s when he sees the other looking back at him, unreadable expressions on their faces, that he suddenly feels it. Something soft and warm around his shoulders. Eddie turns slowly to his side to finds no other than Richie. Richie, as the monster who lived under his bed. When his eyes meet the other puppy once, a sound of disbelief leave his mouth. That is enough for Richie to shot back and run – in the most cute and clumsy way possible – toward s an old table. He hides himself under it, puffy hands covering his own big eyes. It’s not that he’s actually able to hide, they all still see him. But the way he’s behaving eventually makes Eddie understand – _oh my god. He’s scared by himself. By himself being turned in_ _to_ _that monster_. And the worst part of it is that he can’t turn back if he’s scared.

“Oh, here we are Richie. Afraid that you’re gonna be a monster for the rest of your live? Your little friend here can’t help you this time!”

Eddie follows Richie under the table, despite the dirt on the floor. He slowly caress his furry back, trying to get his attention.

“Rich, Rich! It’s me. Eddie. Come on, look at me!”

“I’m that monster again, Eddie”

His voice is low, sad, if not totally terrified.

“Maybe! Maybe on the outside you’re the worst monster a five years old has ever seen. But it’s still you. You’re still you, Rich. And- and I’ve told you plenty of times that you’re actually cute as a monster. Come on, look at me!”

Richie do turns around, his big eyes still covered. Eddie’s mind does this funny thing where it gets suddenly concerned about his purple and black fur to get dirty – _get away dirt! Leave him alone!_ Eddie feels the others slowly getting closer, and when they’ re all sit on the ground around the table , he manages to steal Richie’s hands – hands? - away from his face. A little gasp escapes Beverly’s lips, followed by a sweet _cute_ , barely murmured. In a choir of hums, Bill, Stan, Ben and Mike seem to agree with her.

“See? I told you! Rich you may be scary for a little kid, but you’re actually very very cute and-”

“And kinda funny to look at”

Stan’s statement makes everybody laugh. _That_ is the real funny, and honestly odd, thing. A bunch of kids laughing with a monster under a rotten table, threatened by an evil clown, inside a house that could run-down at any moment. At first, Richie tries to push them away, but he gives up pretty fast, cause every one of them wants to pet him, to touch his fur. Saying that Eddie gets jealous of it is quite – _it’s bullshit!_ – an understatement. But despite the relaxed atmosphere, despite his friends encouragement, Richie’s probably still scared, cause he’s still a monster. And, frankly, Eddie has had enough of it. He suddenly stands, forgetting that he’s under the table, and hits his head – _stupid fucking table!_ \- on the wooden surface. This makes Richie laugh a little, but his amusement last just for a moment, cause Eddie takes his furry and claws provided hand and drags him out.

“Eds, what the fuck!”

“Now you come with me! We’re gonna- does this hell of a house has a mirror? For fuck’s sake! Oh- there! Now you’re gonna watch yourself in that stupid mirror and-”

“No! I can’t do it!”

As Eddie stubbornly drags him towards the dusty mirror hanging over the old fireplace – _what the- is that a little turtle over there?_ -, Pennywise’s yells fill the room again. They all decide to ignore it, helping Eddie with his task.

“Now look!”

“No!”

“Come on! I promise you, you’re ok! You’re not scary at all! And-”

Eddie’s eyes land on Richie’s feet, actually covered by the infamous socks. He snorts, but something inside his chest feels warm.

“Please, Richie! Do it for us!”

Then he leans closer, hiding his face in Richie’s warm and soft fur. His next words are for him only. Eddie doesn’t actually puts his mind into it, and if what he says is embarrassing, well, there’s gonna be plenty of time to be ashamed after they have safely escaped Neibolt House.

“Rich, please! Do it for me!”

There’s this moment, maybe a dozen of seconds, in witch everything seems to stop. Nobody moves, nobody says anything, waiting for the monster’s – boy’s – next move. Then, Richie meets his own reflection in the mirror. It must be hard, to see yourself as someone else, as a monster, even if the cutest. He seems particularly attracted by the little horns popping out at the top of his head. With a hand, carefully, he touches one of them. Eddie watches him in awe, thinking that, probably, Richie has never studied his own monster body before, not the way he’s doing now.

“I’m…”

Richie’s next pause is quickly interrupted by Stan’s sarcastic voice.

“ _Cute_?”

“Fuck you, Stan the man! I’m not cute. I’m fucking gorgeous! Best monster evah! I mean, have you seen yourself before? Gross! But this-”

He runs his hands through his furry belly.

“- this is on a total different level!”

More out of relief than amusement, they all start laughing, their cheerful voices filling the creepy, dark place. Then – _Snap_ – Richie’s finally back.

“This is unfair! Now that I was enjoying it! Pennywise, you asshole!”

This time, even if it’s still not gonna be a great turn of events, the clown appear at the center of the room. He’s angry, even a blind man could tell. Not like, in a figure of speech way, at all. He could be able to sense it. It’s like the dusty air, around them, is vibrating with his rage. And maybe it should have scared them, but if Pennywise is angry, then the only valid explanation is that he has no other cards to play. Its sadistic game is over.

“You losers. You like making a foul out of me? You don’t wanna play with me anymore? You think you win, don’t you? Oh but you’re still here, trapped with me! I won’t let you go this easily”

“Well, he’s fucking right!”

“Richie!”

“What, it’s true?”

The only thing that helps them carry on, at the moment, is the adrenaline residue from their last half victory. They get closer to each other, trying to elaborate a plan to keep going and maybe defeat the evil creature. They whisper their ideas, but it’s not that the clown isn’t able to hear them, anyway. Richie’s one is at the same time the dumbest one and the most useful of them, cause at least -

“He’s said something about a turtle, hasn’t he? Maybe he’s actually afraid of them! Somebody knows what sound turtles make?”

“Richie t-turtles don’t make sounds a-and I don’t th-think it’s gonna be s-scared by one of us pretending t-to be a turtle!”

“Why not? He acts like a fucking monster but he’s just a clown, trapped inside this house by some sort of turtle!”

\- at least it leads them on the right way.

“Oh, it’s useless losers, there’s nothing you can do to stop me. You can try, but I still can sense your fear!”

Pennywise’s voice interrupts their – dumb – line of thoughts, making Eddie turn in annoyance, if not total exasperation – _I can’t stand this anymore!_

“Would you just shut up? For a fucking moment? Shut. Up! You act like you’re the scary one here! But you know what? You’re not! Fuck, you’re creepy as hell, but you can’t lay a hand on us! The only thing you’re able to do to scare kids is to turn other kids into monsters! Maybe they are scary, but you’re not! You’re a- a stupid asshole! So fucking shut up while we find a way to defeat you! Richie’s right! You’re just a fucking clown!”

Pennywise seems actually taken aback, as well as the others are amused by the fact that, basically, Eddie’s just scolded it. Richie’s the most pleased, and is pridefully – pridefully? - looking at him.

“Braver than you think”

A loud noise makes them focus again on the main issue. The clown seems not only surprise, but even upset about it. As if being called _just a fucking clown_ has hurt it. Mike is the first one to get it, so he resume where Eddie has stopped.

“It’s true! You’re just a stupid clown! You can’t scare us! A bird is way more scary than you”

His words hit Pennywise pretty bad. He step back a little before menacingly opening his mouth wide and showing a disturbing amount of pointy teeth. But the threat is useless, cause now they all know what they need to do. And in a choir of insults, the losers attack.

“You’re not scary! That mummy was! You’re just a clown!

“Less scary than a fucking leaper!”

“You don’t scare us! The creepy woman was way more terrifying than you!”

The more they scream, the more Pennywise backwards, actually getting smaller and smaller. The losers corner him against a wall, mean words falling from their mouths without rest. They’ve finally found it, its fear, the clown’s fear. Not being scary. Not being able to scare kids. Quite ironical, just like Stan being turned into a bird. The fear to not be feared. They go on and on, merciless, until Pennywise is just a little pleading figure crunched in the corner. As they stop, trying to catch their breath, a little green thing suddenly makes its appearance from between Richie’s feet. They watch, stunned, as a little turtle – _there was really a fucking turtle on the shelf over the fireplace_ – slowly makes its way towards what remains of Pennywise. Nobody dares to say a word and time seems to still again – _this is happening a lot today_ – as the little animal walks and eventually reaches the target. The moment its little wrinkly head touch the clown body – _Snap -_ it disappears. Then, as fast – fast?- as it has come, the little turtle walks back, and vanishes.

  
  


Eddie takes a look at the clock on the nightstand. 1:17 am. He’s been trying to sleep for three hours, at least, but he knows that, probably, he’s not gonna sleep at all. His mind keeps on revisiting the events of the day, pieces of images that messily follow one another. The clubhouse. Neibolt House. Band-aids. Pennywise’s silver dress. Richie’s scratches on his left knee. The little green turtle. Honestly, it’s a miracle they managed to escape the place unharmed. As soon as the turtle vanished, the entire building started trembling. On the street, after a mad rush towards the front door, the losers stared astonished at Neibolt House, falling onto itself. If they weren’t sure about Pennywise’s defeat, that was a good evidence for it. Before climbing with Richie on his bike, Eddie’s gaze landed over the numerous sunflowers. They were all dead.  
Now, even if Eddie knows for sure that no clown is ever gonna come back, the darkness of his room makes him see the faces of those monster they were all turned into. Especially the leaper, h is own personal monster. Eddie swears he can smell the stink of his rotten skin – _fuck! I know it was Bev, but I thought it could really infect me!_ Suddenly, an odd noise makes his h e art skip a beat. Eddie’s eyes search the dark ness to find the source of it. It’s only when he hears it other two times that he notices that it comes from the window. Specifically, someone is throwing something _at_ his window. Moving the blankets away, Eddie stands on his feet and, even if still scared, moves towards it. What he sees leaves him speechless. For three seconds. Slowly, hoping to make no sound, he opens the window.

“What are you doing down there, Richie?! In the middle of the night? You’re gonna freeze, dick head!”

“Well, maybe if someone invites me in instead talking, I won’t freeze!”

“How am I supposed to let you in without waking up my mother?”

“You just need to _invite_ me in, then I’m gonna climb the tree”

Despite Eddie’s loud protests - as loud as a whisper can be - Richie actually climbs the tree and clumsily enters the room. Eddie scolds him for a while before noticing that the boy is trembling. With the only purpose of warm him up, he drags Richie towards the bed, makes him take off the jacket and orders him to lay down. Then, after joining him, Eddie covers them both with the blankets. It’s only after he finds himself on his side, face to face with his cold friend, that the realization of what he’s just done hits him – _oh no! No no no, I wasn’t aiming at this! Not that I dislike it- I mean, he was freezing!_

“See something you like, Spaghetti?”

Richie’s grin takes Eddie back to the current situation. He push him away lightly, a little _fuck off_ muttered between Richie’s giggles. As Richie does this dumb impression Sonia finding them together, Eddie finds himself thinking that it’s odd the way he feels so at ease with this kid. His eyes scan every inch of his face, looking for every single freckle, trying to grasp the details of his brown i rises. Then his mouth, that can’t stay close for more than one minute. Not that he actually dislikes it – _I wonder what it would be like to- to maybe kiss him_. It’s a sudden thought that makes him blush hard, harder than he’s ever done. One day, Eddie’s certainly gonna find out how it is to kiss Richie. For now, he just wallows into his own embarrassment, trying to focus back on what his friend is saying. It takes him a while to understand that Richie’s main topic has changed.

“So she went there and- I didn’t believe it, Eds! They are the same!”

Eddie’s confused face must tell Richie that he wasn’t actually listening. He pretends to be hurt, but Eddie says him that it’s his fault, cause he was rumbling about his mother. Richie shifts in a sitting position and reach for his jacket, left on the floor. He takes something from a pocket and hands it to Eddie. In the darkness of the room he barely manages to distinguish a pair of orange socks with tiny green dinosaurs spread all over them. He’s a little bit confused.

“Your lucky socks?”

“Nope! These are _yours_ lucky socks! I’ve told you I would have find another pair!”

It turns out that _Maggie_ , actually, found another pair. Richie begged her for an entire week to go to Bangor and get them. Obviously she didn’t go there just for a pair of socks, however, she managed to find them at Derry Mall that same morning.

“Anyway, she said that she bought them only cause I told her they were for you!”

Eddie touches the soft fabric of the socks, eyes tearing a little – _I’ve changed my mind. A pair of socks is the fucking best gift I_ _could_ _receive_ _!_ When Richie lays again near him, Eddie holds them at his chest and looks straight at him.

“Thank you, Rich! This is the best gift I’ve ever received”

The other boy become suddenly very shy about it, mumbling something on the line of _you’re really happy about it? Don’t you think it’s stupid?_ , something that makes Eddie giggles happily. When they both calm down, one of the hundreds of questions that are fogging Eddie’s mind escapes his lips. And it’s neither one of the most relevant ones.

“You couldn’t sleep, Rich?”

“No. You?”

“Me too. I keep on thinking about, you know. Everything that happened today!”

“I get it. It was a lot!”

“I liked your idea, anyway. You know, pretending to be a turtle! It was funny”

“You’re feeding my ego, Spaghetti!”

Eddie lets out a little laugh, soon followed by a tired sigh.

“I’m still a little scared, Rich. I keep thinking about that horrible leaper!”

He shuts his eyes close, gripping hard at the socks he’s still holding. Richie’s hands, still covered with band-aids, find Eddie’s own, and slowly strokes them. This little gesture, Richie’s comfortable and soft touch, makes Eddie say something that he wouldn’t have dared to say just a moment before.

“I’m glad we escape that house, Rich. I’m glad we defeat the clown! And I’m so happy that I’ve made such good friends! But more than this, I- I’m glad that I got to meet you. I know I’ve told you before, but- but I really, really like you, Rich. Like like you!”

Eyes still closed, he feels the other boy shifting under the blankets, getting closer. Then, Richie’s forehead leans against Eddie’s own, and their noses lightly touch each other. Eddie can feel his soft breath on his cheeks.

“I like you too Eds. I like you so much! You’re so brave!”

Then, Eddie does something very stupid, or very brave, the line it’s pretty labile. He leans even closer and gives Richie a little kiss on his cheek – _oh fuck. I’ve done it!_ Eddie’s heart is beating furiously inside his little chest, and Richie’s so close that, probably, he’s gonna hear it. But for the first time, he doesn’t really care. It doesn’t matter at all cause maybe, maybe, Eddie can hear Richie’s fast heartbeat too.

  
  


Eddie’s walking towards the lawn at the back entrance of the school, where his friends usually wait for him. It’s a rainy and quite cold day, but nothing is gonna harm his happy mood. He can’t wait to see his friends again, especially the annoying black haired one. A little smile crosses his face while his mind travels back at the other night. In the end, they managed to get away with it, Sonia didn’t notice anything. Before going to sleep, Eddie had set the alarm at what Richie defined as a _fucking illegal hour to wake up on Sunday morning_. About Richie’s parents, Eddie doesn’t know if they’ve discovered his little escape, but he will find out pretty soon. On the background, someone is talking about some kids that have just come back in Derry after disappearing months before. Betty Ripsom. Eddie Corcoran. This one makes Eddie smile. The moment the losers spot him, he’s dragged by Bev into a warm group hug. It’s a shame Mike isn’t there. Other kids look at them in a weird way, but it doesn’t ruin the moment at all. After a whole minute, they separate, looking at each other with huge smiles painting their faces. Bill’s about to say something when a mean, loud voice calls out for them.

“You losers are fucking disgusting!”

 _Ok. Well, maybe Bowers can actually ruin this moment!_ They all turn around and stare at him and his gang getting closer. A satisfied and malicious look on his face, Henry reaches them and takes his hands out of the leather jacket’s pockets.

“Are you not ashamed? Oh, I’m sorry! A-are y-you not a-ashamed?”

The frankly bad imitation of Bill makes his other fellows laugh hard.

“You’re just a fucking bunch of losers! And how’s your arm little fag- what the fuck is that?”

Eddie follows Henry’s gaze, that seems to be shifting between his own feet and Richie’s ones. And the reason it’s pretty obvious, cause - _Oh my fucking god!_ – they’re wearing the same socks. As much as Eddie finds it very cute, Henry must be thinking the exact opposite. Eddie’s eyes land on Richie’s flustered features before looking back again at Bowers’ ugly face.

“Found a boyfriend, little faggot? Didn’t think Tozier here was your type!”

Eddie can feel the blood boiling through his veins, he’s never been this angry in his entire life. Not with his mother. Not either with the fucking clown. Bowers is pretty close, and his fetid breath’s gonna make him gag. Richie, on the other way, is oddly quiet, ashamed eyes cast down on his own socks. This, more than anything else, is what makes Eddie _snap_.

“I think that nobody other than you will ever like him. Isn’t it true, Tozier? But tell me, faggot, do you really like his ugl-”

“Fucking shut up Bowers! For once! Close that disgusting mouth of yours! And maybe learn to wash your teeth!”

Eddie grants all of them just two seconds of pure shock before resuming where he’s stopped. Their disbelief is palpable – _I’m scolding too m_ _any_ _monsters lately!_

“You’re the ugly one here, ok? Even the dumbest! Richie is great! And if I like him or not it’s none of your fucking business, dick head! Don’t you have anything else to do? Leave him alone! Leave my friends alone! Fucking leave. Us. Alone! Ok? Don’t ever try to lay your filthy hands over any of my friends again, you big fucking asshole!”

And then, to top it off, Eddie hits Bowers’ groin with his cast, right before Richie’s hand grabs his one and drags him away with the others, running towards the entrance. From behind, Eddie hears Henry’s hurt noises, half covered by his friends’ laughs. They don’t stop running until they’re inside the building, safely hidden by the crowd of kids. It takes them a whole minute to catch their breath, but after that, they too explode into loud laughs that fills the already noisy hallway. Richie’s hand squeezes Eddie’s one, and he turns to look right at him. The sadness from before, to his great relief, is not there anymore. Richie moves his lips, mouthing three simple words that makes Eddie’s chest tighten. _Thank you Eds_. Bev, leaned against the wall with a pleased grin on her face, points at their feet, bringing the focus back on the socks issue.

“Anything you would like to tell us, you two?”

Finally, throwing his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, a happy smile finds his way on Richie’s lips. He waggles his eyebrows at her, making Eddie roll his eyes by extension.

“Just matched socks, Bev!”

“Sure, _just_ matched socks”

As they all head towards their respective classes, Eddie can’t stop himself from staring at his friends, at Richie, and thinking that, yes, maybe it’s all about _just_ matched socks. Their fresh but strong friendship. The bound that connects them. This strange, new feeling for Richie that is making its way inside Eddie’s heart. Maybe everything is about this. About little things. About friends sticking together to fight a bully, or, why not, an evil creature. A tale of monsters and clowns. A tale of socks and band-aids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this fic ends here. again, I'm so grateful to you all! also, I would really like to know what you think about this! I hope it was worth your time :)


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